I'm miserable.

I was in love with my best friend. After he found out, he stopped talking to me. Now he's in a happy relationship with a girl who once told me she would never be attracted to him. The irony!

I'm 27 years old and I live with my Mother. I work very hard for very little and I feel like I'll never move up in my job. My Mom often complains about me not doing anything around the house -- but I find that funny as I spend most of my nights picking up after her and cleaning her dishes. Guess we each have different perceptions of realty. She's involved with a married man -- who used to be our neighbor -- he never pays for anything, is a racist, and constantly jabs at me so I become enraged.

I have a debilitating food addition which has brought me to 300 pounds.

My father has chosen his new family over me.

Every night, I go to bed wishing someone was there with me. And I wake up every morning feeling lonely and wishing I could just go back to sleep. I get to work and fake being friendly and happy -- but really, I'm miserable. I've spent my entire life pleasing people, making them laugh, making them feel better, taking criticism to prevent it from going to others. I wish I just had someone to talk to, someone who cared about me. Or, at the very least, I wish I was able to afford my own place so I could sit and waste away by myself -- in peace.

I keep thinking -- or maybe I'm hoping -- that someday I will be truly happy. Someday I might have someone special in my life.

People have told me I need to find my own happiness. I've been alone for my entire life. I was once happy with being alone. Now, it's just sad.

Oct 21, 2012

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  • Thank you, internet stranger. Your comments really resonated with me.

  • You need to stop worrying so much about making others happy AND you need to protect yourself and stop taking S*** from others. Believev me, that's what everyone else does. They will take and take from you and s*** on you until you stand up for yourself and tell them to STOP. The key to happiness for you? Stop being a doormat ! Nobody's happy for very long, no matter what anyone else does for them, so quit kissing ass and thinking the way to happiness is pleasing someone else. Good luck to you. P.S. if your job is dead end, get another one. Don't expect it to change by hoping.

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