Keeping it close

After being in a abusive relationship for 4years I broke it off again like I had many times b4 only this time I slept with his little brother..!!!!!!I have never cheeted on anyone b4!!! Although he always abused me. We got back together and a third child n 4 years later I left him again.and yet again I slept with the same 1 person!! Now my x still wants to b with me but I can't take the abuse or the threats n e more..!!!!! But even though he doesn't no how to keep his hands of me, he is a wonderful dad. Now to make it all worse I still can't stop thinking about what I did or the person I did it with...I no what I feel is wrong and I just can't change n e of it..!

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