Asexuality and guilt

One of my best friends told me she's in love with me. I told her the truth - I care deeply about her and she deserved it, even though I'd never confessed it to anyone: I've always been very confused about my sexuality, or lack thereof, and I've recently admitted to myself that I may be an aromantic asexual. I don't know if this is who I am or if it's just of phase, I don't even know how it could be possible to be like that. It's not only that I don't feel sexual attraction whatsoever, but I don't have interest in a platonic relationship.
I feel very bad about it because on one hand I enjoy spending time with her but I know I'm hurting her constantly, on the other hand I'm tired of being so confused about myself. I'm a 20 years old girl and I feel sick, I can't help but think there must be something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. I'm just tired of not even understanding myself.

Nov 20, 2012

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  • Benin asexual is not wrong. It's a valid and healthy sexual orientation like any other and if you feel you are, there's no reason to think less of your self, feel bad, or apologise for it. You've made it clear you're not interested and been honest. She can't ask for more than that.

  • Accept yourself, you don't have to be as everyone is or what anyone else wants. Live life in a way that makes you happy. When people make you feel bad for who you are, leave them behind and move on. There's plenty of other people in the world to choose from.

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