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I no longer love my wife
I once did love you. You were the light that I looked forward to. We are now so distant I dream of being able to leave you to be free. I feel as if I have a 500 pound weight in my heart. I know it won't end soon. I can't tell you this, as I can only imagine how you would react. You have attempted suicide twice, threatened divorce three times. Your PTSD from your past has infected me. I am no longer able to build relationships and trust people. I am so angry it is scary. Thanks for ruining my life too.
If she is seeking treatment for this, try to be a little more patient, and maybe seek out some counseling for yourself to help you through the issues you're developing from it & help you understand her better.
If she is not seeking treatment, I personally see little reason for you to remain in the relationship. This kind of behavior requires therapy, and if she's not willing to seek it, it's unlikely that it's going to change.