I just wanna shoot myself right now, cut my wrists, slit my throat, tie a rope around my neck, overdose on xanax and drink it down with a bottle of vodka
i am reluctant to use the word but its the one that applies to your plan. it smacks of........OVERKILL.
Please, don't do it. I have no idea who you are or what you've done, but I don't want you to and the idea that you might makes me sad.
Why not? Give yourself a second chance to be the great person you were mean't to be! :)
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