I need help..

I am very sad. I can honestly say that I feel really depressed. Nothing really keeps me happy anymore. I used to play video games or watch movies, but now I find them boring. I can't sleep at night. By that time, I just spend myself watching cooking shows on youtube to pass the time.

I don't know what's the problem. I just feel like I am worthless. Every night, I keep wishing that I don't wake up anymore. Every day I am stressed. I have no work. I don't want to work. My girlfriend left me a long time ago. I don't find this life worth living. I know there are people who are facing faaar more serious problems compared to mine. But me, I already gave up. I just can't imagine myself doing something better. You can keep on saying inspirational things, and even convince me, but there is something that has already died to keep on living.

I have s*** reason to quit living. Everyday is like a punishment for me. Everyday, I just sit my ass all day and use the computer, eat, bath, and sleep. The problem? Nothing. I'm just tired for this non-directional life. I know I should be working but I can't imagine myself doing anything properly. I am already a failure. I was going so far as to google all the lists of painless ways to die, but i can't choose the best and cleanest.. I just wish a sudden heart attack or death in sleep. I want to die, but I don't know how.

Maybe some people don't have what it takes to live. Maybe sometimes there is this depression that suddenly, out of nowhere, sucks the life out of you.. Me? I think I am just a living shell to feel this everyday pain.

I already consider myself a whiny b****, whining even though I appears to just relax myself in front of the computer, or eat and sleep. I have no other major problem. And yet, I feel tired. I feel empty. I don't want this feeling.. Everyday, theses stresses may just build up, and when I lose it, maybe then I can push myself to do it.

I want someone to talk to...

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  • Excercise and 'talk therapy' can be an effective treatment for mild depression. More severe cases like yours can be helped with medication. There is a stigma in our society around mental illness. People think "It's all in your head." and wonder why you don't just get over it. The truth is your brain is a very complex organ and things can go wrong with it. If you had a heart condition, for example, you wouldn't just diet and exercise (although that's always a good idea) you'd go see a doctor and get treatment. None of this is your fault. There is a physical, medical reason for how you feel. Make an appointment to see a psychiatrist.

  • It is very easy to go from being active to becoming depressed.
    I suggest you start immediately running, jogging, or walking fast 30 min per day, at least every other day.....try judo or yoga to stretch your body and get the natural hormones that help you stay happy!
    You might also invest some time going to a small group Bible study or house church where you can meet with folks that may be suffering some of the same things -- a support group that can encourage you.
    If you start exercising, eating right, getting fed spiritually, you will have more of a desire to get your life on track.
    If you try this stuff and nothing works, you may need to get with a psychiatrist / psychologist -- but find one that is a Christian, not a Freudian shrink that thinks all our problems are related to s** only!
    I wish you well!

  • You are not alone in what you are thinking or feeling at the moment. You don't have to have something terrible happen to you to suffer from depression. First know that you are loved and your family and friends would miss you terribly if you were to kill yourself. You do need to talk to someone, that would help immensely. Sometimes when you're in such a dark place reaching out is hard to do. Please know that this will pass, you are just going through a tough time. You will find work and even another girl. Just do little things right now...start exercising, stop the video games, get enough sleep,avoid being mean to yourself. You have so much to live for.

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