So we play this game: Im literally the only person in our surrounding that he showed interest for but did not give in to him. That doesn't mean that I don't want him, on the contrary, I do. It is clear to everyone who looks at us that there is great tension between us, that there is mutual kind of attraction, and that we both would gladly bang one another. They also know that we are great friends that do flirt a lot, that call each other love at all times, that kiss and hug and cuddle regularly, we are friends that at the same time keep that small distance: we have never had s** ever.
He wants me and I know it, I want him and he can tell. He also knows that Im not gonna give in to it, at least not easily. Its been like this tense for around 3 years now. Whats stopping me from being with him, whats stopping me from f****** with him till the dawn breaks? Maybe the fact that Im a virgin and he is a loverboi, the fact that we are friends and changing that might forever break us apart, basically whole bunch of reasons. Sometimes I feel like I think too much, but would we still be here for each other had we acted differently?
A little detail that bothers me lately is that sometimes when we get too close, when he kisses me and calls me love, I get into it that I start feeling things for him. I have been in this situation before but I overcame it successfully, I hope I will overcome it again, and love him less.
THE BIG QUESTION IS: SHOULD I JUST STOP ALL THIS, LET HIM HAVE ME AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS HAPPENS...?