The awkward stage ruined me.
Elementary school, though trivial in the grand scheme of things made quite an impact on me. When I hit puberty as many of my classmates, I started noticing the opposite s**. I also started to notice I wasnt the prettiest, nothing I used to care about, I was carefree I was me, and no one could contain me. As I grew older, I would like a guy, rejection, like another guy, rejection. Middle school I would look in the mirror until I couldn't look anymore, i would get sick of looking.Im still sick of looking. I wasnt myself anymore. If youve ever read its kind of like I had two souls and one suppressed the other. I wonder who I could have been if I jus didn't care. And my biggest fear is that Ive lost her forever, that I kilked myself, someone who could have so beautiful and daring, charming and alluring. Looking back onto my elementary and middle school years that alluring charming and daring woman is who I could see myself becoming, but no. Me with my self esteem issues ruined her and maybe forever. I can't function. The awkward stage ruined me.