I just feel like crap. I've been in a same s** relationship for 24 years now. We met when I was 19 years old. I was pretty messed up then my choices in men were bad. Guys i would date would either be married or have boyfriends so when I met my current then I didn't have much faith that we were going to make it being together. At first I didn't take us dating serious the first time he said "I love you" I freaked a little. But as time went I fell head over heels over him. I started noticing little things at first always late not answering his phone not home when he should be. I would question but it always wound up him saying its just me being paranoid and I can't trust anybody. I always felt something not right back then. Fast foward 13 years. Our first house together a guy knocks on the door asking for him. This guy knew his name. My partner thinks I'm crazy has no idea what I'm talking about doesn't talk about causes a lot of drama. I let it go as best I could. We are out shopping one day and the store we are in there's the guy and I tell him that's the guy who came to the door asking for you. He gets real mad wont say anything to me he pays for his stuff and we leave. While in the car is say under my tounge That's the guy I'll never forget his face. That sucker tells me it's was a big mistake he made and it was one time. I was p***** after all the denying and lying. Well stupid me I forgave him. Fast foward to now. Tuesday morning he goes to take a shower and I look through his history on the lap top and see a bunch of Craig's list M4M profiles on there so now can't even speak to him I want to bash his head in with a crowbar. I feel like an idiot. Not sure what I'm going to do.