Stay or go?

About 2 years ago, I was really fat and depressed. My boyfriend was also very depressed. I was trying to fight my way out of it, but his comments and constant low moods kept bringing me down. I ended up breaking up with him.

I slimmed down, I dated other guys, and a year later, was really missing my ex, and he was missing me, so we got back together.

My look has changed, obviously. And my personality has gotten a little stronger. Feeling better about yourself seems to do that for a person.

But now that I'm with my ex again- all he sees are the physical changes and he doesn't like them.

I want to be beautiful to someone who only wants the past: Fatter, timid, and self-conscious.

I brought it up with him and all he talks about is my personality.

I'm not this shallow, but is it wrong to want to be attractive/ beautiful to the one you love?

I'm torn in two about this mess.

Sep 11, 2013

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  • If he cant accept you for who you are now then you arent meant to be, i understand that some people are attracted to different things but they shouldnt make you change yourself like that if your happy. if he is only happy when you feel like s*** then he just likes to mind f*** and control and is not the sort of man who deserves you.
    good on you for bettering yourself. you are you own person and you should always be your own person.
    the past is in the past and you will never get it back, reliving the past is impossible and attempting it only causes s*** to happen allll over again. learn from your mistakes, dont relive them babe xx

  • He's just insecure. But since he's an adult he should get over it by now. He sounds a bit immature, but depending on how he was raised it might me understandable. Either give him a piece of your mind and tell him he should be grateful that you're taking care of your body, and so he should take an example as well, or break up with him and tell him that he's selfish that he wants you to join his pity party, and to feel depressed all over again. If he loves you he will understand, and if he loves himself he will grow the h*** up. Just be careful how you bring it up.

  • If you want to be thinner and more self confident, then a true partner would support you in reaching those goals, not bring you down.

    Maybe your partner is threatened by the stronger you and insecure he is no longer good enough for you? But again, true partners share and express feelings like these and work through them together.

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