I am a soon to be surgeon, and I have been dating the same guy since high school. He is great, my best friend, and he means the world to me. He is my biggest fan and has supported me and helped me every step of the way. He has an associates degree and will be making about a fifth of what I make. I know it's horrible because he's absolutely wonderful, but I've always dreamed of marrying another physician, and I am having respect issues simply because I make more and have a much higher level of education. It's not that I feel I'm too good for him, I just don't have the respect for him that I feel I should because I highly value education. I really love him though and he wants to get married. I'm just scared money will be an issue because he likes to spend and I like to save. What should I do?


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  • WOW. Just... wow. You certainly have the arrogance of a surgeon. If you turn out to be as good at cutting up human bodies as you are at thinking you're some sort of goddess, you're set...

    ...except for minor matters like liability insurance or getting sued, for a good reason or no reason at all. The liability overhead is a killer, because even surgeons who think their excretions have no adverse odor will sooner or later s**** up (operate on the wrong leg, leave something inside a patient's body, etc.) Your so-called "underachiever" with the heart of gold might end up having a better net worth than you after a year or two of that business.

    I see you haven't gotten the memo that advanced degrees are no longer a guarantee of a good life. There are plenty of Ph.Ds out there delivering pizzas-- that's a trope for a reason, you idiot!

    What is MUCH rarer is a decent, supportive partner such as your man.

    You might have an advanced degree-- but you are one exceedingly stupid little girl, honey. Hope I never get YOU for a surgeon.

  • Help him up or leave him because you may feel a lot for him but believe me, its not love. If you really were head over heels or really loved him with your heart, you would not even question it.

  • Your internship is coming up and you will be a very busy girl. Just don't allow him to follow you to whatever city you go to. Tell him you will be to busy and you can't afford the distraction. 2 high income's will be a much better situation for you my dear. He didn't keep up with you. He loses, it that simple.

  • Is anybody ever really fooled by the "too* busy" routine? And did you ever notice it's most readily used by people who aren't bright enough to use their own native language correctly?

  • It sounds like he's been supporting you emotionally (and financially?) for some time. To turn around and dump him now that you don't need him anymore... yeah, feels like you're using him. Question: Does he have any educational goals or aspirations? If he helped you become a surgeon maybe you can help him obtain an advanced degree.

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