Will Give My Kids Mom 2 More Kids But Want Secret Baby

I have 2 kids with my kids mom.We don't get along that well;we have been separated for last two years.She is working hard to get back with me and says she is serious now.She also wants a daughter from me and I told her she has 1 chance to try and have a daughter and if its a boy,she will have one additional chance.
But I am secretly planning to have a secret baby with someone,anyone,just because my kids mom has been so mean to me over the years.I was looking for someone to do that with while separated but all I found were lots of h**** women just wanting to f*** a lot and I could not say no.

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  • Two words: bar pick-up.

  • i know it must be so hard to resist giving in to the mother of your children expecialy when you loved her at some point in time but maybe if you think of it as tough love it will be easier? you need to make it clear to her that your days of enabling her misbehavior are over and that you arent going to let her hurt you anymore. it will be hard at first but the sooner you do it and the more you do it the easier it will get for you to say no to her and stop letting her ruin your life. remember that if you arent happy its going to be harder for you to be a good father to the children you had with this petty little woman. good luck.

  • And I really want to be a good father.When I talk to her and she tells me the way the man she was with treated her and the kids,I get frightened.But she was bragging about this guy as if God made him specially ordered for her.In the end,he dumped them out of his apt and they ended up homeless and she hid it from me and wanted to move right in with me, but I knew what was up as soon as it happened and said I will take the kids but not her. The babysitter allowed her to stay with them for two months till she found a new place.Thank God we each have the kids every other week so it was not that rough on them.Her past actions worry me,but am in a dilemma coz she is the mother of the kids and I tend to empathize- plus I work with kids with mental issues mostly related to family problems like ours.Thanks.

  • Doing something to spite the ex will feel good for a while, but then you'll feel bad about it.....forever. That's not to say that you should take the ex back again: she spoiled that relationship by her own choices and behaviors, and she doesn't deserve another chance. If you give her another chance, fix rules and enforce them always, and do not let her disrespect you in the horrible way she did in the past.

  • It sounds good to me.She says she is changed and I have seen some of the changes...but no telling if they will hold. I have been very caring and loving to her and our kids but she took it for granted and just behaved badly. Now even when she is trying to be nice and maybe,genuinely so,I am skeptical.I must say though that since we started talking,she is playing an active role and taking care of the kids is much easier than when we were flying solo.Thanks for caring.

  • Evidently she was young when you were together, so maybe she's finally just "growing up". I don't know, but you are right to be skeptical about that and about her. Don't commit until you have seen enough of the "new" her to be convinced that she's either matured or evolved. People do change, but not often enough to rely on it as a scientific fact for everybody.

  • Find a nice lesbian couple and talk to them about fathering a child with them. That way, you're off the hook for support (unless you choose to be on it), and you accomplish the result of feeding that to your ex. She needs to know two things: (1) she needs you, and (2) you don't need her.

  • I like your reasoning and I have thought about it a whole lot.Finding a lesbian couple or a straight couple wanting a baby to raise on their own would be ideal.But I am not sure it could happen.The only lesbian lady I know wanting a baby badly is not financially or socially stable enough to induce me to help her out right now.I am hoping she has grown up,indeed she was younger when I met her,but she has said enough mean stuff about me in 5 years that I get to wonder how she "changed" so quickly in the two years we have been separated.Deep down,if I did not have the kids with her,I won't even be talking to her.The kids sober my heart and mind up.Thanks for the suggestions,I am in a very tough spot with this issue and I fear that if I don't do the right thing,my kids will become a public menace at some point and am doing everything possible to mitigate that:)

  • It's good that your children have one responsible person in their lives. It may seem to you sometimes that your example isn't reaching them or being absorbed by them, but it is. Eventually, they will realize that you were facing huge obstacles to be the father you were, and that their own mother was building most of those obstacles out of her own selfishness and pride. You don't even need to point out her flaws to them: they see those flaws every day, and ultimately will reject them.

  • It's not something that the mother of your children will

  • huh?

  • that b**** gots it comming

  • Another option to consider, and it's one that isn't complicated by biology, would be to find a single mother who has a child whose father is completely out of the picture, and make an arrangement with her to provide some minor amount of support for so long as she tells your ex that you are the father. Two things are absolutes in this scenario. First, the girl has to be a teenager (or no more than twenty), so your ex will be just eaten alive by the fact that you not only bedded but impregnated a girl barely over half her own age: you know the ex will never get over that. And the second thing is this: the girl you make this arrangement with cannot have named a father on the child's birth certificate. That second part is going to make it a little more difficult for you, but there are situations like that out there: you just have to find one, and this should be easier than finding one to agree to getting knocked up. Your ex needs to know that her age just doesn't matter to you anymore, because you've got somebody much younger. Won't that be fun???!!!

  • You simply killed me,lol.That is simply first class thinking!

  • You should definitely develop this relationship on the side, and have more children with that woman than with your ex. Show her how active you are and how eager this other woman will be to give you what you want and not be such a horrible b****. Teach her a lesson.

  • I should do something...I dont hate her,I just don't like how she has treated me over the years.She is being very sweet now but am sure her true colors will manifest soon.She wants me back badly but I think I need to give her something to think about forever and that will be a kid with another woman.I know I will love and take care of that kid so,this is just fine with me.She treated me like trash on purpose,the men she chased after treated her and the kids like trash,now she is back to me, because she knows I adored her.I sometimes feel so stupid for even going to f*** her.Then I look at my sons and feel better.

  • I'm a woman and so I know something about how mean and ugly women can be, and also how competitive they can be too, so I think you will be able to find that second woman who will want to rub her relationship with you in your ex's face. BUT you're probably going to have to work hard to convince this second woman that you aren't doing it to try to "guilt" your ex into coming back with you, but that it's really her (the second gal) who is number one for you no matter where you are. If you convince her that you're hers and that her baby will be your main focus, I think she will love the idea of plotting against another woman (your ex) because that's something women love doing. DRAMA!!!! We say we don't love it, BUT WE LOVE IT!!

  • Thanks for replying and I am so glad you see things my way. I have the ex gf back already,though we don't live together.I spend time at her apt but she does not spend any time in mine yet;I just don't allow her or make it possible.Yes I need a woman with a mindset to understand my plan and go with it without a doubt.I am considered a responsible dad and very pro-family,but I don't want to put myself in a situation where my current kids mom will mess me up again.She feels so powerful, because I have two sons with her, and I need to take some of that power away by having another kids somewhere else.I simply hate that I did not do that in the two years we were not together.She is competitive yes! She does everything to make sure I have no time for the woman I have been seeing.The woman I have been seeing is awesome and just a genuine person.She is just too old to have kids, unfortunately.My sons mom is in her late 20s and makes fun of the age of the woman I have been seeing.I told my sons mom she will never be anything like the woman I am seeing-mean but true and honest.

  • I'm sorry that this chick gave you so much trouble, but I have to say that whatever you do to her now is something she brought on herself. Treat the ex like your own personal w****, because she's behaved like one. See her when it's convenient, and when you have nothing better to do, and only for s**. Leave as soon as you're "finished", and don't ever call her unless you need more s**. Make your use of her body obvious. Just judging by your writings, I think that's going to be hard for you, because it goes against your personality as a supportive man and lover and partner, but you must admit: she deserves it. She's obviously interested in having you take care of her children and her bills, so she can go back to her life as a w**** without having to worry about where her next meal (and car, and clothing, and insurance, and housing) is coming from. I'm sorry to be so harsh about her, but she makes it so perfectly clear what she's all about. It's a difficult situation she's created for you, and I wish you luck in dealing with it.

  • My goodness..you are not harsh,its like you know me and the lady personally.You are so to the point in everything you wrote.Makes me think you are a psychologist of something. She asked me for $100 today.I filled her gas tank 2 weeks ago,etc.I have not been creating time to f*** her that much lately.She called me today and I did not answer the phone readily.She sent a text message saying that I must be somewhere else f****** another woman.All I texted back was "really"? You are right,I don't have the heart to treat her as a w****,but I need to because she brought it upon herself and lived and acted as one. Thanks.

  • You had me till h**** then you lost me. So sad boo hoo.

  • Not sure what you mean

  • so many h**** women, so little time. :)

  • I mean no offence when I say this but you both seem like two pretty......stupid people. If the relationship didn't work once, why would you try to get together again or even have another kid with her? As for your running around and jumping into every pu$$y you see just for revenge, have fun with that but don't be mad when you catch a STD :/....!

  • I worry about that and you right

  • but if you keep the baby a secret thats not going to let you get back at the mother of your children. wouldnt it be better to set things up so she discovers maybe like by 'accident' that your the father of this other child so that you hurt her like she hurt you? i mean isnt that part of the point of having this other child? and especially if you have the secret child first and its a girl??

  • Good thinking!

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