Get Her Pregnant?

So my kids mom is going to be 30 this summer.I already have 2 sons with her, who are now toddlers.She and I have never really gotten along for the last 6 years that we have known each other. We have joint custody of the sons and we do our best to be civil and get by.She is the one who did not want me after the kids were born saying am too old for her,though she says I give her the best s**. In any case,the youngest son is now 4.She found out, the other day,that her friend is pregnant, with her 2nd child. She started texting me,from the friend's house-I believe,that her biological clock is ticking and she wants another baby, or possibly twin girls.I told her there are plenty of men to give her twins.She said she will consider adopting even a relative, so that she can avoid pregnancy and labor pains, and I asked her if she had looked at the adoption costs online,which she checked and got shocked. When I got up today,I decided this: as awful and mean as she has been to me,I am going to meet with her and propose getting her pregnant for up to 2 kids.I KNOW SHE WILL SAY YES. My reasoning is this;When I first me her,she never wanted,and I don't want her, to have kids from two different men.I feel its bad for our sons.If she has kids from someone else,I don't want to have to pick mine up, for visitation, and leave the other ones behind,but I also don't want to take another guy's kids with me either.This is partly because I don't want to explain that to my sons,and also she does not like my grown kids from a previous marriage.She is hard working and getting to be an ok mother,though she will never be a wife to me.Please tell me what you think and feel. Sorry its so long.Thanks.


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  • UPDATE-11/04/14:She never told me yes to my pregnancy proposal.I think she was trying to hook my 22 year old cousin to knock her up and he may have balked.She got really p*****.We went to court and got a final order to share our sons jointly, though she is primary-making me so happy.Two weeks ago,without even telling me she is leaving,she sent me a text message(am assuming from the airport) and asked me to pick up kids from school.She flew to another country and hooked up with a guy she used to see at a church(her friend who knows them both told me) and married him two days ago in a court-I heard she did not invite any of her family members.She wants to have a baby next year at all cost and am sure when she flies back here next week,she will be all pregnant.I have thus lost any chances of knocking her up.

  • I drove her to the hospital one day she had a healthy baby boy. I visit her and see the baby here and there.He hubby is still in another country awaiting a visa. I hang out with her here and there but no s**,its so weird.We get along better and text each other almost daily.

  • I was told by a trusted friend yesterday,01/28/15,that she is pregnant for sure. No wonder she has been so nice to me!

  • It just sounds like she's tired of being a party girl, and she recognizes how shallow and meaningless that life is. For a while she wanted both stability and wildness, and now she just wants to be a grownup. There are probably still several eruptions of youthful irresponsibility left in her, and they'll burst out at unpredictable times over the next few years. The issue for you is whether or not you can stand that long enough for her to get them out of her system and then (hopefully) settle into an actual adult life and relationship for the two of you. I wish I could answer that for you, I know it's troubling and a huge dilemma. Unfortunately, only you know her well enough to be able to predict how many more wild-ass episodes she'll have and, more importantly than that, how many more you can stand. I wish you luck.

  • shes getting older now and doesnt attract guys like she did when she was a teenager. her body is aging and shows the signs of childbearing and the fatigue of childraising. shes not ugly, or fat, or wrinkled by any means, no, not at all. but she doesnt get all the overheated attention she once got, turning heads when she walked into a room, and having hard d**** rubbed against her ass "by accident". so....she is beginning to consider trading in the thrill of perceived freedom and non-conformity for the certainty of the long-term relationship. you are clearly the best alternative in her life, and now she realizes what she gave up by keeping you at arms length, so shes reversing course, trying with all her might -- but without admitting it to you or anyone else, or even to herself -- to paddle her canoe back to the point where she lost you. but the paddling is becoming more difficult, her breathing more labored, her struggle more obvious. the bloom of youth is falling from her rose, petal by petal, and she is trying hard to hold onto them long enough to make you think those petals are still attached. but they aren't. you see it. she sees it (but won't admit it). she wants to recapture the past. but capturing a distant past has never been done in the history of human relationships. and it cant be done here, either. and it wont be done. you are over her. you are beyond the reach of all her mad paddling. why? because when she looks out upon the river, she thinks you're back upstream, where she left you and lost touch with you. but you are far, far downstream. colloquially? you've moved on. and she's paddling in the wrong direction.

  • You assessed my situation fairly well despite not knowing me. For many years,all I have heard her tell me is "I am young and beautiful". She will be 30, at the end of August, and says that statement less and less nowadays.While last summer she was trying to get me back by being nice,this summer she has been giving me and my daughter a very hard time, and being very nasty.I had to threaten her with a restraining order four days ago to calm her down.She has left the kids with me for 8 days straight ,just to punish me I think,but am having a ball.She hates that my daughter lives with me for sure,and I think she sees her as an impediment to her crooked designs,she cant get to me very well with my daughter around,lol. I used to watch Geraldo Rivera's show on tv in my younger days.He said something very controversial this week;I find his statement to be very true in our society,whether we choose to agree or not. "... what a woman brings to a marriage more than anything else-- to a relationship-- is her youth,...Her youth is a fragile and diminishing resource..." My kids mom did text me few weeks ago and lament that her clock is ticking and she wants another child-that alone makes Mr. Rivera's statement true,as sexist as some people think it is.My chances of getting her pregnant are diminishing,she is acting too weird and if I happen to give her a daughter,it will be worse for me due to the logistics involved,given that we have two sons who are getting older and taller very fast.She would always tell me " I have moved on,stop chasing the wind, find yourself a woman and move on too". But in reality,she has gone nowhere-she is going backwards.While I have had a steady relationship for almost 2 years,she has been dumped by two guys(that I know of) within that time.Its sort of sad really.

  • I say yes, yes, YES, get her pregnant. Don't wait.

  • Just this very minute,I am writing a proposal to my lawyer to complete modifying our custody arrangement that I asked for and have been working on for almost 3 years,lol. We have toddler boys and they are getting a little easier to take care of.I can take them to a public bathroom and they can shower in mine at home no problem. She has not said anything to me about this since I talked to her about it last. I have been wondering: what if I knock her up and end up giving her a daughter that she so badly wants? That would really alter my life!

  • It would make your life even better, and the mother would love you even more and probably would even chill her ass out! Yes, it would alter your life in a beautiful way, and it would make the mother's life better, too. So, I say again ......... .... yes, yes, YES get her pregnant. Don't wait!!!!!!!

  • Explain to me how this is gonna make my life better...whats your reasoning for such sweeping statements?

  • She wants you, physically, sexually and biologically, and she wants you to be the father of her children. Those are powerful things for a woman to admit, particularly one so young as yours. Most women don't want men to know how badly they want them, but instead try to manipulate their man into believing that he wants that specific woman. But yours is opening herself up by being so honest about wanting YOU and for you to be the one who knocks her up. She knows you're a good father, and YOU know you're a good father, so having another child or children with her will make her so happy, and her happiness and the happiness of the child or children HAS to make your life better. But I think there's another way this could really improve things: either by her own decision, or by your telling her that it's what you want (or that it's a condition to your serial s****-sharing), it's entirely possible that the new pregnancies and the new babies will drive the two of you back together, in a renewed and better relationship. That last part is a more distant possibility, I realize, but it's there and it can't be discounted. Who knows what's in store for you and the mother . . . after you've shared more s**** with her? Another possible condition you could add: you'll only do this if she's really dedicated to becoming pregnant. Meaning? She's going to have to let you f*** her, your way, your location, your position, your choice, every day for, just say, a month. She can't say no, as the deal would go, and she's got to take WHATEVER f****** you want to give her. "We're trying to make a baby, right?" For a month (or whatever period YOU choose), she has to be walking around or sleeping with a p**** filled with your s****. 24/7. GO GET HER! And make your life better.

  • I see your point and thanks for the detailed explanation. I will not ask or remind her about this baby issue.I already told her where I stand and if she wants the baby she will let me know. I used to want to have s** with her because I really cared for her,but since last summer,my desire has diminished or is almost gone.If I ever have s** with her,It will be purposely for procreation.Though she knows I am a good dad,she works extremely hard to give me no credit or acknowledgement.I decided not to care what she thinks or says,I just do what I think is good for me and the kids, or even her.

  • Sorry to read this. I really thought that maybe she was finally growing up. I know, eighteen is supposed to be mature and she's thirty, but some kids are mature at fifteen, and others aren't at thirty-five, and your lady sounded like one of those that mature late, after they've seen enough of the world to know that they can't change it, but that it changes them. I still have hope that she'll grow up, and I still hope that happens while she has your baby deep in her womb. Or your manhood deep in her flower.

  • You sure got that right,lol.Most people who know her say she's too childish and selfish.She used to be up in the sky full of herself but in the last few years,enough s*** has happened to her that she has come down a notch.As you said,the world would probably change her to be normal some day.She used to tell me that no man can out think her.I see men out thinking her often. One boyfriend she had, and that she was throwing at my face every chance she got, waited for her to go to school,rented a truck and loaded everything from the apt.When she showed up,he was getting done.He had tricked her into selling her stuff and putting some in storage.It was his lease too.She slept on the floor for a few days,wanted to move in with me without giving me a reason and I said no. She finally moved in with out baby sitter and told her not to tell me she was living there.After a few months she got her own apt.That was after she had hooked back up with an ex bf,whom she was also bragging to me about had either dumped her or lost interest.It seems like she wanted to hook up with a much younger cousin of mine but the cousin balked,and avoids her like the plague.
    These days,she does not talk about men,she has not said a word to me about any guy close to a year now.If she has one,she keep him a secret.

  • One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. This crazy girl child is going to make you insane all over again. Don't do it. Don't give her the chance to make your life even more complicated and more troubled.

  • Was thinking about that today while walking my sons at the park.What a coincidence.Very realistic advice.

  • You dudes are right: the girl sound crazy.

  • I'm early 50s, divorced for 9 yrs, the first 5 of which I spent dating only girls in their early 20s, but I gave that up bcuz they are all.... just.... such..... idiots. Oh my f****** God, the entire generation (females AND males) arrived on Earth brain-dead: it's just that they haven't been medically diagnosed yet or declared deceased. I honestly have no idea how they managed to survive on the planet into their 20s, but that fact seems to prove some kind of exception to Darwin's theories. If there ever actually is a "zombie apocalypse", it will begin in that generation. And the girls will lead it. God help us all. :)

  • ^^same experience here. young women are such a disaster and such a waste of life. find somebody better suited to your needs, wishes and intellect, and somebody at least a little closer to your age.........and not quite so brain-dead. :)

  • You are actually right!

  • its not just the young ones......their all a disaster....

  • "Get her pregnant?" The answer, of course, is "YES YOU SHOULD GET HER PREGNANT". You want the kids. She wants the kids. You like f****** her. She likes you f****** her. You produce (apparently) amazing c**. She absorbs your amazing c** in ways she doesn't absorb other men's c**. Hardly worth a debate. F*** her. Repeatedly. Knock her ass up. Then f*** her while she's pregnant. Pregnant women are the best f**** IN THE F****** WORLD. That, too, is not debatable. KNOCK HER UP. DO IT TODAY!

  • I went to pick kids up from her apt last nite.She had been taking a nap to go to work later.she had a t-shirt on and a large beach towel around her waist but looked very sleepy and tired. She brushed the kids hair and as she was going past me,I grabbed her and said "come here" and gave her a hug. She did not hug me back but just stood there.The kids looked on and said nothing.She did not say anything either.We just took off. Normally,we talk via text,calls only once in a while. She has called me lots today and talked to me about lots of different things. I can tell she is enjoying talking to me. If I keep everything at this pace,I will be f****** her in a few days,though I think she has a birth control ring of some type still in her. I know that its not right to have kids just because and it will send a bad message to my daughters and friends and relatives. But I would rather be the father of all her kids than someone of them ,regardless the cost.I know that I will raise my kids happily,so instead of having kids with a new woman-who is also likely to be mean to me and then I have to deal with two meaners,I had rather take that from just one woman at this age.My older daughters mom was mean and am grateful the daughters grew up under my care.In few years kids will be grown,I will be older and die.The way I see it is very illogical to most people.

  • what a wonderful love story that will all make..........

  • If you promised you would knock her up, then you are obligated to do that, and so you should. If I was her, I would keep reminding you of that promise and reminding you of that promise and reminding you of that promise until you capitulated and knocked me up. I've never used that approach to get my husband to knock me up, but I've used it on him in a lot of other situations in our marriage, some sexual and some not, and it's true what they say: the squeaky wheel really does get the grease. Get off your ass and go knock that little b**** up.

  • Lol that was just funny,sure made me laugh.Never met a prouder manipulator! On a serious note,she been texting me much of today,sending me old pics of when our sons were younger, admiring how handsome the sons were few years ago n I asked her how many more like them she wants n she said none,lol.But am sure am gonna possibly knock her up within the year.

  • Your so right, I am a manipulator and I am totally proud of that fact. I know how to work men in general, and I really know how to work my husband in particular. Give me your woman's number and let me give her a little education. :) You will completely LOVE being bossed around and punked and dommed up by a pro. LOL!

  • Stay away from this wanna-be octomom, brother. You will be paying child support until you are bankrupt. If it didn't work out before, it will likely not work in the future. Find yourself a girl who LOVES you, and start a family with her, if you so desire. But keep your pants on until you find someone who wants to be with you.

  • You are actually so right;if it so happens that courts make me pay child support,it will be a drain on my finances. But so long as she uses it on the kids,I won't mind.Its not like I didn't want the kids or resent them.I am proud and always do the very best I can. Good points though.

  • You shouls really think everything through again before you go and knock your wife up again. Because she might not want to have another child. Women's minds do change I would know because I am one.

  • I really never wanted to have another kid with her after how nasty she has been with me over the years(we were never married).She always wanted 4 kids and I had always promised her that I will give her 4.After the first 2,I told her I could not give her anymore till she had gone to school and received an education to make her decent money. She finished a nursing program early this year and is working. She just text me last week excited that her friend was pregnant and she also wanted another natural or adopted baby.I wished her well but after thinking about it,I decided to tell that I could give her one,possibly two. She is a devil but it will serve us all well to have all the kids between the two of us.Men she has dated have been ugly to her and my kids in a way that saddens me.I am not keeping her from picking her men or anything.I am hoping to make it a little less confusing to raise the kids.I know for sure this will not make sense to my daughters,friends,relatives and even some people here,but I see it as a form of pre- crisis mitigation.And I think she knows that its to her benefit to have all the kids she wants with me, because she reluctantly tells friends that I am an awesome dad;after getting exhausted trying to mud sling me,lol.

  • Has she ever thought of getting her tubes tied after the first two she had with you?

  • Ohh no,she wanted more kids at some future point so she reserved that option.I did pay for some birth control device that they put in her and it has worked well for almost 5 years.Otherwise she would have had 10 kids by now.Her former boyfriends were unable to knock her up,as soon as she got with me,she got knocked up twice no problem.She cant believe it to this day, because she was sure it wont happen,lol.

  • Go back and live with her for a week. One week. If, at the end of that time, you still feel like having more children with this woman, then go ahead. But if, as I expect, you reach the end of the week fantasizing about placing your hands around her neck . . . run. ;->

  • You know you so right! the lady chased me up and down much of last summer,mainly because I think she was lonely or knew that I was f****** another woman.She was so sweet to me for about two months or so.I let my guard down and was f****** her and practically living with her.Then one weekend in November, she yelled at me and was mean because I left her apt and came to mine, while she was out shopping, without telling her.I was p***** and broke up with her.I had a key to her apartment till about three months ago.One day I dropped off the kids stuff there on my way to work while she was away, and then she made a comment that its better if I can be at her apt while she is home,not while she is away.I said ok and dropped off her key to her that day.She has said nothing about it to this day.We have lived together on and off many times,the longest we have made it is 9 months followed by 7 months.I think you get the picture.

  • I do indeed get the picture, totally. I had a surprisingly similar situation about two years ago, living with a much younger woman who bitched and whined constantly, and increasingly. It just kept getting worse and worse until I moved back to my place and immediately started dating another girl she had gone to school with, which chilled her ass out completely. I made the HUGE mistake of breaking up with Girl Two and moving back in with Girl One, because she had been less bitchy, but when I moved back in and she knew Girl Two was history, Girl One got even worse. I stayed another six months, by sheer force of will and not wanting to give up the SPECTACULAR p**** on Girl One (or the unbelievable b*******), and then clocked myself out permanently. can't live with 'em. (Turns out, only the first half of that saying is true. :> )

  • Did you have kids with girl one or two? Glad you had the b**** to check out.This one is almost exactly 20 years younger than I.Glad you understand my dilemma,lol.

  • I do understand it, and I sympathize: I know you're being pulled in multiple directions. Younger women are a treasure, aren't they, I mean when they are sane? LOL. These two were both 24 years younger than me, and although I had kids with my first wife when I was in my 20s and thought I was done with children and parenting, I had decided I wanted another child (just one more) with Girl Two and she wanted it as well, and she would have been a terrific mom and wife. In fact, I got her pregnant during the time we were living together, but the lure of Girl One's p**** and her incredible BJs was too much for me to resist, and when Girl Two found out I was going back for encores, she blew up (or cracked up) and went and had an abortion without saying anything to me about it. Girl One said Girl Two faked the pregnancy to keep me home and then lied about the abortion when she found out about my returns to Girl One, so I didn't know what to believe. I never had kids with Girl One, and thank God, because that girl simply doesn't have it in her to love anyone even a fraction as much as she loves herself. Sorry to be longwinded. I really hope your situation works out to your benefit, I seriously do. After reading more of your subsequent responses to other's posts, it seems that you and your lady may have something going that is beyond the simple fact that you have children together, and that something could be love. It would be a difficult, trying and exhausting kind of love, for sure, but as young as she is, and as much as she wants you in her life (and your babies in her womb), she may very well change enough to make a life with her supportable. It certainly sounds like the s** is MORE than good enough to make it work, and I'm one of those who believe that exceptionally good s** is an indication of more than just a combination of two people who know how to f***. Your lady may just be finding her way, and it may well be that she needs - and wants - you to lead her. Good luck!

  • Thanks and best of luck to you too...I wish a lived in a predictable drama free world!

  • "reasoning"? you call what your doing "reasoning"? n**** please.......

  • What reasoning made you interject "n****" in this conversation/

  • If you only care about yourself, then fine, by all means, have more illegitimate kids with this woman you can't stand. If you care about the kids, though, you need to keep your s****** in your pants whenever that shrew is around and stop knocking her ass up. Enough!

  • Illegitimate child:adjective;born of parents who are not married to each other; born out of wedlock,2.
    not legitimate; not sanctioned by law or custom.Though we may have these kids out of wedlock,we are very committed to their well being.From my reading,there are many single well earning educated women in the world choosing to have kids and raise them on their own, because there are no possible husband in sight.It might not be an ideal situation for most people but,it could possibly work for them and so I figure it will work for me. With that said,I agree with your thinking.

  • my wife and i have a 1-yr old daughter, and she has 4 previous kids from 4 previous relationships, only 1 of which was a marriage. we are mostly raising them all ourselves (only 1 of the fathers is even slightly involved) and doing mostly okay financially, tho there are i am sure you know. but i have to confess that theres something really sexy about being married to a woman who has 5 kids by 5 different men. i look at her even now and i think.......damn that b**** is hot!

  • I second that. Nothing is hotter than a well used woman. My ex has three kids from three different guys, plus mine. I'm married again, but she lets me have action on the side. I am hopeing he gets pregnant again.

  • I know, right? :) sorry you had to give up your 'bad girl'. i would have a really hard time breaking it off with mine bcuz i love her so much and she turns me on so much. she and i have a open marriage but shes the only one who plays......i just dont have the interest in anybody other than her. and we really cant hardly go anywhere without running into some guy she used to f*** AND who still wants to f*** her. on very rare occasions if one comes up to her when our kids arent with us she will slip off to the restroom with the guy and throw him a quickie or give him a bj or a handie. i know i should be mad but since she only does it a little i turns me on.

  • Lol,you simply made me laugh.The problem with my situation is that I love the kids mom,she just decided, after the first kid was born, that am too old for her and have other kids almost her age.But the two men she has had after me are much older than her and they all have kids.For the time we have known each other,she has been breaking up with me and then coming back months or years later. She does and says awful stuff to me but I still respect her as the mother of my kids and I try to help her or make her life as comfortable as I can so the kids can have a fulfilling life.Your situation might be a little easier because the other fathers are not involved;if they were,it could be stressful.I have chosen to be very involved with my kids as much as I can though it has been challenging. I applaud you for taking on and loving your lovely lady.She sure has a fertile womb!

  • The erosion of families is a large part of what's wrong with this country: children grow up without a stable horizon and without the simultaneous support and discipline of two parents. Don't have any more children with a woman you don't like well enough to live with. Is that the message that you want your kids to have? That you don't have to love someone enough to live with them, and yet it's acceptable to plan a family with them?

  • UPDATE. I met with my kids mom tonight at her apt and explained my position to her.I specifically asked her not to give me an answer either way tonight.I did let her know that since its her body,I cant tell her what to do with it,how,or with who and when. She said nothing while I was explaining.When I finished,we were quite for few minutes.She seemed shaken but calm and collected. I have no clue what she is gonna do and whatever she does is fine with me because,I have no control over her body or choices and I have done my part.I will never ask her what she has decided or try to beg her to select me(as a matter of fact I have no clue if she has a guy or not).It is what it is.

  • Just the premise that you actually think that you can give her twins and have them be both girls is laughable. What do you think ..that like're going impregnate her and also select the gender and number of babies? Seriously? You two shouldn't have any more children together. The fact that you two are barely getting along impacts your children. You want to set an example to your children, show them how you and your ex get along. Those kids will notice that more than anything. You can't control who she's with. Someday, you both will find other partners..and any kids will deal with it. The bigger deal you make of it, then the kids will see that. Right now, you're showing your kids that it's okay to have s** and not be married and have as many kids as possible. This reasoning and thinking are fine examples of why you two shouldn't be together and should stop procreating all together.

  • I may not have explained the twins part right-she wants to adopt twin girls and also thinks that her next child will be a girl. I don't think I ever will be able to guarantee anybody a child of a certain s**.I know that our inability to get along impacts our children.I also know that if she happens to have children with someone else,the children will be affected similarly or worse. I appreciate your observation greatly.

  • You should get her pregnant. Better you than somenother guy but make sure you guys have and make a lot of money because you know kids arent cheap.

  • We are not rich but we are able to support our kids to the best of our abilities as there is no child support involved at the moment.Thanks much.

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