I love/hate him

This inst really considered a confession but...
i love him but when ever i talk about marrage he disregards it when ever we end a conversation he would end with i love you and i would say the same. we stared caring for each other after my mother died, he would talk to me when my other friends wouldn't. he was always the stuck up guy and i was the carefree perverted type. i guess secretly he liked me when i had barley had feelings for him, i however had a crush on his friend. we had an amazing relationship, i met his parents ( whom i eventually befriended on Facebook ) and he met my grandparents ( because he couldn't meet my parents) we went to church once we had dates almost twice a Month because we saw each other at school. we were almost made for each other. we stayed together until 3 days before the first day of school. he broke up with me because of distance. i had to move with my grandmother who lived a town way from the school. i cried for (metaphorically) 2 days we still talked however when i saw him in person i hugged him as if i thought he was dead. but between that time i did things i shouldn't have to get my mind off of him. before i had feelings for him i had s** with someone that i didn't know was his illegitimate cousin. which kind of grossed me out... so i love hate him!!

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