I'm in love with a character
It's Cat from those sitcoms on Nickelodeon. The f***** up part is that I don't even like the shows that much. I don't think there's anything wrong with them per se, but I'm 19 years old and I shouldn't be dvring every episode. But I just can't stay away from that one character. At first I thought that I just liked the writing of her. Which makes sense, considering the fact that she is one of the very few stupid characters that I can find tolerable in any TV show, let alone the mediocre fair that she is restricted to.
But as I kept watching the shows, I came to realize that I might be attracted to her. I'm a fan of Ariana Grande, but not by too much. That is, until I see her with her red hair on. Then suddenly, everything she does seems twice as fantastic. Because now Cat's doing it.
I guess I've always wanted to know a person who unconditionally loves everyone despite their flaws. I've also always looked up to people who even when they are dumb, that doesn't stop them from trying to learn. To boot, she's also played by Ariana Grande who is extremely gorgeous and has an orgasmic singing voice. I don't think that girl actually exists, but Cat lets me pretend that she does.
And I hate it. The more I try to repress it, the more this reality becomes unbearable. I hate reading fanfiction. Guess who looks up Victorious and Sam and Cat fanfiction just to get another fix? On one hand, I know that this obsession can't hurt anyone because the character isn't real. I can't stalk her, or hurt her, or do anything of the sort. But on the other hand, she isn't real. She never will be real.
I don't know what this means for me, but I'm scared. Am I that lonely? And how do you fall out of love with a concept?