I just want to live happily with you.

I feeling tired of this life.I just want to rest, just shut my eye. I feel that I am the only one that is being misunderstood. I love my wife so much. Everyday I tried to be the best husband that I can. I try to show her happiness and love. I am not perfect but I am trying to live the way that she want me to be.

But why is there such negativity? Can she just forgive me for what I am. I feel like killing myself just to end this pain. Why just can't she trust me? Why must she demoralize and push negative things to me. Where does she want this to go? Why does she want me to hate her? Does she know that I would die for her?

I don't know how long my heart will hold on. Every single beat hurts so much. Even when things cool down, I dread the bad times. I can't live like this. I forgive her and I love her so much. I am just scared that I might die holding on and I can't take care of her anymore. I pray with all my heart that God will protect and love her. I just wish she would just stop all off the fault finding and live this life with me happily because life is short and I don't want to fill it with hatred. I love you...

May 15, 2014

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  • You sound like my father, who always tried to make himself sound like this perfect spirit of peace, constantly victimized by the evil drama loving b****** surrounding him. None of it was ever his fault, he never started anything, blah blah blah. It was of course bullshit perpetuated by a schizophrenic mind. He started more than half of the s*** his own self and I'm glad to be free of it. Hopefully, I'm wrong about you - god knows we don't need more people like my dad in the world - but that's what you make me think of.

  • You need to go to counsiling honestly. There is a reason she's being negative and why she is finding faults all of the time, it could be how she was raised or something else. I must admit... I am a negative woman and a little bit of a fault finder... im miserable with my husband and i dont trust him, but i just want to be happy with him.. i wish he hadnt lied to me and so many times about stupid things he could of just told me the truth, and hiding our join account information from me refusing to let me know.. we fight so often it drives me crazy, i hurt so much i just want to bleed out and die. Ive been trying to cut myself recently..the other night in bed he was choking me and i was praying that he would just take my life away, it got to the point where i was seeing black spots but then he loosed up. i stopped nagging stopped being so negative i just hold it in now... i wish he would be willing to do things that i want to do and i wish he wouldn't refuse s**.. I feel so broken and beaten down..my needs arnt met physically or emotionally... but im doing what i can to change so he might not be miserable i dont want him living trying to avoid making me mad... i want a passionate loving caring open honest relationship. But i fear we will never have a good relationship. Hope this helps and im sorry for your pain.

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