I dated this guy for awhile, and we were really happy and seemed to get along well. Then we had a mutual break up for our own reasons. After which things were not always easy for us. We have had our ups and downs and lately were getting along well. Now, he is telling me that he is trying to be a stronger person and learn to trust people more, and that in order for that to continue to happen he wants to hang around people who are stronger. Making me feel like crap. I know he is going through stuff, and so am I. I just thought friends were supposed to stand by each other regardless. Not turn away when things get tough. Then he keeps telling me that he does not want me to stop talking to him and or leave and ignore him. I am kind of confused by this. Any advice??

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  • Limit the amount of time you talk and see him. May help the friendship, because there are still some residual feelings. Boundaries are important in a friendship, so that neither of you feel taken advantage of. At the same time those boundaries need to be respected. It seems like he wants to do A.B.C. and grow as a person, but you need to be available to him and stay as you are. And that's not going to happen. You are going to go out and make some new friends; involve yourself in activities that interest you and start to date (if you are ready). Keep in mind, no one can make you feel something about yourself, but you. So when he says that he wants to hang out with "stronger" people (seriously, not even sure what that means)..do not interpret that as "I am not strong". And your best way to resolve this is to tell him how you feel. Even the best of friends may be able to finish each other's sentences, but still not read minds.

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