I said yes out of obligation
I slept with him because I was too embarrassed to admit that I hadn't come to the room for s** but to do as he requested. I honestly did not know that that was what he intended when he asked me to come to the room (I look back and feel stupid for not knowing). He was my first and I cried and felt so depressed afterward. I was scared. I did not feel special. I couldn't tell him anything because it was dark and he is deaf/didn't have his hearing aids on.
I did not like him. I wished I could back out of the relationship but the sense of dignity and honor said I had to stay and go through marriage to him. I felt cheated. I've been through so much because of his choices. I regret the marriage and although we have good times now I often wonder what life would have been like without him.
I see him as proud, lazy and entitled. He is also sometimes socially awkward because of his hearing. I have to live with the fact that I didn't speak up when I should have. I am not happy and feel weighed down by his way of thinking.