I miss him

When I was 14 I went to a party with a friend I've known since elementary school.. That night I lost my virginity to him, after he became MIA for three days till I found out he was already with another girl. I was so crushed I drank every night to keep me from crying. I gained ten pounds that year. Till I saw what I was doing to myself, I blocked him out for a long time. From working out to reading and writing and going out with friends I tried so hard to not think about him. Till in the middle of my sophomore year I found out he got the girl he left me for pregnant and then ended up marring her. I didn't really care at first till he got a dishonorable discharge from the navy and now I see him all the time because we are neighbors.. I don't want anything to do with him, but I miss all the fun things that we did growing up. I have my own life back now but I still think about him now and then and I just get to depressed that I don't want to eat and do nothing but run. I feel like there is something wrong with me, I don't trust people anymore and I don't date as much either and its been a year.. Will I ever trust someone or find Mr. Right? I doubt it just because I've never really given any guy that chance, I'm just to scared to get hurt again.

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