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How at 56 I have a 38 year old Daughter who has a 78 year old Mom
At 18 i married a 40 year old grandmother, and she was one of the great loves of my life. Our daughter just turned 38 and my ex wife turned 78 in May. I was never embarrassed when, back in those days, people mistook us three for a Mother with her two kids but today it really bothers me when my daughter and I are mistaken for her kids ! I know now we should not have married. It was not right, but we belonged to a cult basically that accepted this weird inversion of natural order. My Parents- in their 80's now- are still members of this cult. I fell deeply in love with this woman, even though her twin sons were just a year my junior and her daughters both in their twenties had children and were married. It seems strange to me now, she was both my wife and my mentor... sort of an Aunt like figure with connubial love. I never married again but have had two long term relationships both with older women.My Daughter goes from one horrendous relationship to the next. She has married 4 times and is currently living openly as a lesbian. She is not happy. I am not happy.Marrying this woman was a mistake that still effects me today and i no longer love her so I'm left with nothing.
I had a every very similar relationship with a much older gal and quickly married her after only dating her for a few weeks. We lasted for almost ten years before she developed cancer and died within a year. Long story, but I do empathize with you and your daughter's situation. My recommendation, for what it's worth, is to find a good therapist and try to get some perspective on the situation and on how best to help your daughter. And maybe even your ex-wife.