I'm sorry Pam
Having s** with you wasn't all my fault. You were 42 and I was 38 and it was your idea that I come to your apartment.
I didn't think you were attractive but you were available and I gave in. I'm sorry you took it seriously. I didn't want to be your boyfriend and I know I hurt you when I backed out of the friendship.
Now that you have passed away my conscience is bothering me. How was I to know you would die so suddenly? At least you died in your sleep and didn't suffer. I guess the years of smoking cigarettes and poor healthcare on your part did you in.
Dying in the home of a friend on the couch while you took a nap is something I'm glad didn't happen when I was with you.
You were tormented in life and I hope the good lord took pity on you.