At Crossroads Between Love & Hate

I do the paper route at night & have been doing that since I was around 10 yrs old, helping my mom when we needed easy money. I came back at the end of 2012 in August or September. After a few days or some little time being there, I spotted this brunette when she was handing out the bundles of heads. I had 2 thoughts that came to mind: she was cute, and she had nice t*** from what I could tell from some of the shirts she wore. Her body wasn't big or fit, it was just normal with a bigger ass than I like. She's one of those girls where everybody in the place was friends with her & loved her like that. I also thought she was single because I knew I was gonna want her. After the 2nd or 3rd time seeing her, I looked forward to seeing her more & more, liking her more & more and everything about her. I loved her smile the most and I liked that everyday she would come in with a different hairstyle, my fav was the pigtails. And I would notice everything, like if she darkened her hair or got a new shirt - anything. I later found out she was taken, but it didn't stop me cuz some relationships can always fall apart. Every day that passed, I really wanted to talk to her & tell her I like her, I thought about her every second of the day, and she became cuter & more beautiful to me. And each time I'd see her, she would make my heart beat - I would never feel it the rest of the day, and she'd also make me weak & wanna fall over. I told her this too - if I was Clark Kent, she'd be my Lana Lang (like her final ep when she's infected & he can't stay away from her). In the middle of 2013, I had to text her something about the route & we ended up just talking for a bit. I flirted with her a little bit and told her that it's hard for me to take/keep my eyes off her, she'd reply with a smily face. I was so happy & in heaven talking to her, best night/day I had in a long time. Thought everything was going to get a billion times better, but then I tried texting her when I got home & she wouldn't respond. She later claimed she didn't like texting that much & only does when it comes to work. After awhile I sent her a few long text msgs telling her how I felt cuz I needed to get it out & wanted her to know. Everything just went downhill from there. At the end of 2013, I wished so many times that she'd leave the place & she did for a few months and came back to work there around the end of July. Now, I'm at the point where a part of me really wants to hate her cuz how she acts towards me & doesn't bother looking at me, and so half the time I don't bother looking at her even tho I still think she's beautiful & all. And it frustrates me & makes me wonder wtf happened? And why is she still in my life if nothing's gonna happen? How we could look at each other & talk to each other and now it's just hate. And the other part of me I guess loves her. 1 thing I'll always like most about her, is that if I tell her I missed her, she won't be quiet like other girls I know - she'd say "I know" every time. I miss saying that & hearing it, and I especially miss her looking at me & making my heart beat. I had to force my heart not to beat anymore when I seen her.

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  • (Poster) Not giving up on someone & getting them in the end always works for ppl on tv & movies lol. Normally I can give up on ppl or know ahead that I won't have a chance, but I really wanted to keep fighting for her cuz I really thought she was worth it & maybe I would've gotten lucky for once. Especially if it's someone who you only wanna love, nothing else matters except that & you follow your heart instead of thinking with your d***. Someone you think sexually about, you can confuse love with l***. I've also been interested in another girl I met since last yr, who I guess I can say I'm friends with, but she's not interested in relationships & I don't feel for her like I did about the paper route girl. But ppl say we would make a cute couple :) If only we had tons to talk about & she gave me a chance, I'd be the best bf she'd ever have. And I love her little body & unlike the other girl, for the longest time she'd make me hard when I thought of her. I actually posted about her too entitled "My Friend".

    Thx for your thoughts & advice, appreciate it!

  • You will find someone that you like even more and she will like you back. This girl just wasn't it. It was just a really strong crush on a girl and it wasn't reciprocated. It takes guts to tell someone how you feel. And it sucks when it's not returned. But you knew she had a boyfriend and you still didn't give up the chase. And there's nothing wrong with persistency, but you were just making efforts towards someone that it just wasn't going to happen. Think of it in the same a way a girl has a crush and she has already planned the wedding and the kids names but she has barely said 2 words to you. So when you sent these texts to this probably was both flattering and frightening. Because you had really developed feelings and she just thought you were this kid who delivered papers. The guy below sounds like he's had some bad experiences. That's too bad. And your experiences do not have to be like his. And please know that not all women are crazy or b******. Sure there are b****** out there that will do a number on your heart. Just as there are guys out there who treat women like garbage. But you don't have to have those same experiences. Keep doing what you do. You'll find someone who makes your heart beat a little quicker.

  • Girls are f****** mental, dude. Never, ever tell a girl how much you like them. That's a sure-fire way to get hated. They THINK they want nice guys, but they really like to be treated like s***. And that's f***** up and hard for us nice guys to get used to, because we think that if we really love a girl, we would do anything for them. For some f****** bizarro reason, that turns them off.

    Welcome to the whacky backwards-assed world of women. And sorry to say, it never gets better, not that I've witnessed.

    Some smart assed chic will come on and refute this, but remember what I said. I'm sure you have seen it before with your own eyes and already had an inkling this was true.

    Can't live with em, can't live without em.

    My best advice, and I mean this: find some escorts you like, and whenever you get the need, bang them. Also go find chics out and about, but the danger there is that you start getting attached. Only bad things happen when you get attached.

    Escorts go away when you want them to, and come when you want them to. They are extremely cheap, even the high priced ones, compared to wives. Wives are all nut cases, with no exceptions. NO, there are NO exceptions. Don't think that yours is different. Listen to what I am saying.

    That chic you are seeing right now is not how she will be in a few years. Think cut little piglet turns into wildebeast. Mentally, physically, relationally, the works.

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