I think I might be a physcopath…

I remember back in the GTA4 days just before GTA5 came out I modded the game so I had well alot of health using some… well I don't remember I don't play games no more but I would spend hours, HOURS running people over demonically giggling while getting an ERECTION!! From it … then when GTA5 came out and I figured out how people go in "God Mode" I took it to a whole new level of physconess… I was doing anything I could the more in rage I felt the more good it felt…

Now I'm currently into animes like Attack on Titan all that brutal stuff…

Even when I walk to the park for about 30 mins I listen to Avenge Sevenfold while day dreaming about slaughtering people animals things aliens with a Katana, (Swords are boss) just the thought of slicing someone up gets me excited…

Though the actual thought of killing or even hurting someone for no reason sickins me to the core, I also despise rape.

I don't get it, in fantasy I have a bloodlust for death and destruction but in reality I just want to hug a bunny and spread peace?

What exactly am I?! Am I Ying and Yang??

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  • It sounds like you actually suffer from a lack of power in your life, and you use your fantasy world as an escape. In that world, you have the power to kill. In this world, you may be too young/poor/etc.... to have an effect on anyone.

    It's the same reason young men blast their music in their cars - it gives them a little power over people around them. Because they have no real power in today's society, unless they are wealthy.

  • Join ISIS. They are looking for people just like you.

  • No, you're neither. You're a normal human being who's taken his chosen environment a little too seriously and become influenced by it to the point that it has absorbed you and overwhelmed your thought processes. It won't be easy, but you need to get away from gaming for a while, the longer the better. You have, it seems to me, developed a bit of an addiction to gaming, and perhaps to violence, but it can be controlled. However, YOU are the one who has to take control of it. Stay away from gaming until you feel some semblance of balance being restored to your thinking and your life and your days. Find other interests (intellectual, vocational, avocational, volunteer, etc.), and let your nature take hold again. If that doesn't work on your own, seek the help of a professional who deals in addiction: that may seem extreme (and right now, it probably is), but if you feel yourself continuing to lose ground to this, talk to a pro. I wish you luck.

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