I hate being a mother

I hate being a mother.I love my son with all my heart and would do anything for him but parenthood is too much for me to bare. I never wanted children and my whole family knew this and when I became pregnant by accident at 19 and I wanted an abortion my idiot bd and family were against it.So off of pressure I continued the pregnancy. I suffered greatly in that pregnancy,had to be in the hospital several times just in the first trimester alone,the bd wsnt even there for the birth,left me and the baby, and the same year he got another girl pregnant and now currently lives with her SUPPORTING HER AND THAT CHILD, and to top it all off i almost died after childbirth. I had so many goals and dreams before all this. Before all this,I was getting ready for college, enjoying being young, just starting my life and loving it.Now here it is 6 yrs later and im a single parent, struggling,depressed, and still dont have much in my life.Every since i became a parent i have not been happy at all.people are always talking about how children will fulfill you and you wont be completely happy till you have a child.I think its bunch of crap.dont get me wrong children are a blessing but not everyone is meant to have them or handle them.Having children is overrated.Everything in this whole experience for me has traumatized me and now I never want to have any more children.And everytime i hear about these people who are against abortion.Im thinking to myself that these same damn people dont understand THAT NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO BE A MOTHER.EVERYONE CANT HANDLE IT.
I had a permanent sterilization procedure done.but to be honest i still wish i could go back in time and take it all back.I feel stupid for listening to my family and deadbeat bd about a decision for my own body and now look at me. Im the one paying for this not them.I miss my old life,my freedom,no responsibilities,minimal stress,and just enjoying life.Never again will I listen to people giving me advice about my decisions in life.family or not.But my son didnt ask to be here so im just gonna keep doing the best i can for him and loving him as best i can even though i feel like my life is pretty much over i can still try to make his good.And im thankful that I have a son instead of a daughter because i couldnt bare to see her go through what ive been through. Hopefully one day i will not feel this way anymore.And hopefully one day I will find that so called "Joy and happiness" that comes from being a parent that everyone is talking about.

Jan 18, 2015

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  • Pray to God and ask him for help. Maybe start going to church

  • I have 2 kids and hate being a parent. I just let them do anything they want...minimal parenting. They break things, mess up the house, and do whatever they want I just don't care. I go out and have fun while I have them baby sat by a girl who doesn't give a s***. I smoke a lot, and both of my children now smoke too. They are 7 and 9, and I just let them. It's easy being this kind of parent. I basically just say, f*** it, let them do whatever, I don't want to deal with them. Give it a try. It's kind of fun to just watch them f*** up the house. You just don't have to care about your s***, and it's all OK.

  • That's an honest response. You can't go back in time, but you can move forward. You're being the best mom to your child and that's awesome. But don't neglect your needs and dreams. Just because you have a child doesn't mean your dead and buried. Look if you want something bad enough, you will find ways to achieve whatever it is. That exBF needs to be paying child support. And you have to move past this resentment. Just keeps you down and prevents you from progressing. It is what it is, accept it. It's time to write down some goals and start making things happen. That joy and happiness thing..are in the little things. I also get that you don't know what's it's like to be single or without children..but the grass isn't always greener. It's just different. Everyone has problems, it's all relative depending on where you are in life, we all have responsibilities and stress..bills to pay, things we want to do. Think you need to put things in motion. Ask your parents, or the bf parents or the bf to watch the little guy and go away with some friends for the weekend. You need it and deserve it.

  • Put the kid up for adoption.

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