Broke up with my bf for him

Ok So I was dating this guy for about 6 months and we had a good relationship even though he was like 4 years older. The s** was good but not what I was wanting. I am a girl who has a major bondage fetish. And he was really gentle. I told him so many times"I like it rough." Or "slap my ass, bite me and grab my neck" but he never did he always said "I don't want to hurt you" and that "he was not sure" then when we were at his house one night.his friends ex boyfriend came over and I found out he was really into bondage too but he was. He was cool and he was also friends with my bf. So he stayed the night so we sat upall night.
me and him sat up watching movies till about 6am. When we were watching movies he would pull little things like grab my hair and pull my face really close to his and tell to f*** him. Then at times he would grab my neck and pull me close and I did nothing... about it because I Loved. I needed it
The next morning though I woke up and he was gone so I never got to talk to him about it. Until I looked into my phone and his phone number was in it so we started talking more and more. After 3 days of talking to him I broke up with my bf because I felt like I was cheating by Sexting another guy. So this guy and I would talk to hours. Then I met up with him again and we f***** hard he held my neck and slapped me and I was finally sexually satisfied. This continues for over 4 months and I started to develop feelings for him but he was moving so I pushed them aside. He left and we stopped talking. The other day I seen him again he walked up and hugged me and stuff.. but I felt betrayed because he is the one who stoped talking to me. So Now he is back and I don't know what to do.

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