I am in love with the most incredible
I am in love with the most incredible woman I have ever known. She means absolutely everything to me, and I am more than ready to spend the rest of my life making her happy. But she just got engaged to another guy. She knows I love her, but she still wants to hang out nearly every day. The worst thing about it is that I know for a fact she has cheated on him twice in recent memory. She called me at 2 in the morning barely able to speak not long ago. I told her to come over and we would talk. I spent the next 2 hours holding her while she cried. She was barely able to breathe from being so upset.
But if he ever found out, he would leave her on the spot. And I know if that happened I would be the one she came to first. I would console her and tell her everything was going to be ok. And, eventually, I know we would end up together. Nothing in this world could possibly make me happier than that thought. But I can't say anything because I could never be the reason she was hurt so badly, whether she knew it was me or not.
I'm honestly afraid that if I can't be with her I may decide that I don't want to be at all. I've thought about suicide before. The only thing that stopped me last time was the fact that I loved someone and couldn't leave them behind to deal with the pain I'd have caused. Love saved my life then, but it might just end my life now.