I've never felt so alone
I cheated on my ex boyfriend with this married guy, after that I couldn't keep disappointing him and hurting him like I was so we spilt and I didn't speak to the married guy I planned to move on and never make anyone feel the way I made my ex feel ever again!
I got a new boyfriend and was so happy with him until I saw this married guy again and after speaking then spending the night together we had s** again, I felt really bad and never wanted it to happen again only it did and it happened again after this everytime I saw this married man.
I told my boyfriend he forgave me after a lot of downs and a lot of abuse and a lot of shouting we went for weeks and weeks of struggling but he forgave and I tried to make everything better and I tried again to sort everything out, until this married guy rang me one night and then after texting which then ended up in s** texting we met up again, and have since met more times then ever only the most recent time we was both sober!
I'n the past we have never really communicated a lot until we have bumped into one another but now we're texting a lot and I'm sad I've f***** up I know I'm a w**** and I can never excuse it I just don't know what to do! We've been sleeping together now for over 3 years, I don't want him to leave his wife I don't want to be with him, I just want to be able to let myself be happy and stop making other people sad! I just don't know what to do. In my mind I think come clean let people move on and then change and try to make a change, but then how can I ruin a whole family, I haven't got children and I'm
Not married but he has and I should think of this before hand I know that, I know every single nasty word I should be called, god I call myself it too many times. It makes me feel low and really low but then the married man will be in contact and he then picks me up in mood and then says stuff and does things that make me feel better and then he's like you only live once it's only fun, but it's not fun it's going to hurt more people then I ever thought and I wish it had never started