Trapped and in love

I live a lie. I stay with my wife because I am trapped. I love my children. All three are great and I want to be around them all the time.

My wife judges me. She holds grudges. I am sloppy, but not overly so. She beats me down for it.

She wanted to swing over the summer with a couple, I got upset. I forgave her. I believe she is incapable of longterm compassion or forgiveness for me.

I would take the out if I could get the kids. No way that happens. I would really want her to be who she is the days that she says I am the best dad in the world. The best husband in the world. Maybe she could appreciate what she has instead of what she doesn’t.

She harps so much at times that it pushes me away and I think about companionship outside of our union. That makes me feel sad and dirty. But I need some encouragement, to know that someone cares, when I am getting the verbal beatdown. I deserve part of that beatdown. Just not all of it. And not all at once to demean every possible ounce of being.
Well that was cathartic. Thanks.

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  • Just f***her in the ass or just pretend you want to f*** her in the ass....

  • Stand up for yourself - or you could make yourself scarce enough that she might take notice.

    Whatever you do, don't bother arguing with her - I bet you'd have better luck debating a tree from the sounds of it, just walk away don't let her bait you!

  • Shes a f****** w**** dump the cream logged c*** now

  • Counseling is needed. A space where both of you can speak honestly and allow the therapist to establish parameters and ground rules. Not a permanent set of procedures, but some things that will guide to both to a space where you can focus on the relationship and both be working toward its improvement. Together. You are in an impossible place right now, and she needs to accept and acknowledge her contribution to it, and be willing to make things better overall. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I wish you only luck.

  • Mate I sympathise.

    My wife can not forgive. Married 20 years. The last 10 or so. Cold. When I try to coax out of her why she does not love me she will bring up things from years ago. A couple of times in the first year I tried to spank her. Not hard. I thought it was in fun. Not so. Burned so hard in her brain as a reason to hate me. If I say that was in the past. I apologise but I can't go back and no do it. She will then say well I never know when you are going to loose your temper. I will ask when did I last loose my temper and she will say last year. If I say last year. So I can go months without loosing my temper but that's not good enough for some affection. Then she will say your always criticising me. I will say when did I criticise you and she will say "you just did". So we continue. I guess for the sake of the kids. I am lonely. Disempowered.

  • If what you want is verbal reassurance for your insecurities, etc., then see a therapist. Check out your local psychology colleges. They sometimes offer sessions for free.

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