Virginity

I'm 18 and a virgin... Well I was 18 and a virgin up until the other day.
I have a very close friend who is also a girl. I met her about 2 years ago but we were aquaintences at best prior to last year when we had class together. We've been very close friends for about a year now. I care for her a lot and she does for me but I've never really looked at her as more than a friend. She has always loved me more than a friend and I could tell that she has. Somehow not too long ago we ended up becoming friends with benefits which didn't bother me because I mean I'm a guy and honestly she has a nice body. I ended up telling her about my ** fetish and I suggested trying it. She agreed to it and I was like wow okay awesome. We ended up doing it and I really enjoyed it so I wanted to do it again. Apparently to girls ** feels like "reverse pooping" lol. Anyway, she was over the other day and one thing led to another. I tried ** and accidentally put it in the wrong whole. I didn't realize that I did because it was dark and she was in doggy position. She finally told me that I was in her ** after like 8 or 9 PUMPS. I was in shock because I told her how I felt about virginity. I told her when we first became friends with benefits that virginity was very important to me because I viewed it as an eternal gift to someone and that I wanted to give it to someone who I truly loved. Afterwards she claimed that she didn't realize that I was in her and she doesn't know how it took her that long to realize I was in there. That puzzled me because I also remember her making the remark that I had a condom on my dresser which implied that she wanted **. I honestly don't know what to think because I trust her a lot and if she did this on purpose it would ruin our friendship. HELP?

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