I Feel Torn Apart

I had to make a decision between two things I loved in school, dance and basketball, and I found the decision extremely difficult. I was torn apart and stressed about the time I would have to make the decision, therefore worried about it for weeks, and when that week came, I broke down. I finally made a decision because of the time, and how miserable I felt. Worst of all, I chose it because of my friend who is only mean when it comes to basketball. She destroyed me last year without meaning to and I was terrified of just walking into the court to try out for basketball. My mom had to take me out of the parking lot because I was sobbing so much and I decided not to go in because of my friend. The next day I thought of my decision constantly. In the morning I cried because over the announcer they mentioned something about basketball tryouts. I then thought about it and cried in the cafeteria because that's is where the dance team practiced. Basically anything about dance and basketball made me want to cry and at the end of the day in the gym, I did because I felt like I had made a huge mistake. It has been two weeks and I am still devastated at my decision. There is nothing I can do to change it. I love that I am dance, but am heartbroken that I am not in basketball, and I can't get over it. I just feel like I left a part of me behind.

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  • I think it isn't your decision that is upsetting you, but rather your relationship with your socalled friend. It might make you feel better if during a calm time you could sit down with your friend or write her an email or hand made letter, explaining your feelings and what she did to you. Even if you never give it to her, it might make you feel better having written it and gotten your feelings out. Life is full of decisions and you will never know what the other road would have lead you to, but likewise, had you chosen basketball, you would never know what you were missing from dancing. Dancing might offer you something that basketball never could. Embrace your choice, love yourself, and either accept and forgive that your friend hurt you bad once, or let that friend go and move on from them if you don't think you can feel anything but hurt from them. Good luck, you will find your way.

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