MR.RIGHT MR.WRONG

I'm a chemical engineer at the refineries in Houston tx i have a 7 yr old 3yr old 1yr old and a month old 2 boys 2 girls I earn good money enough to spend and save up. Being young I was always brought down by friends and family. I got to a certain point of my life when I started living with my parents working full time and with my first kid at a young age. I'm 27 now for on my parents house I lived in a trailer year after year I made my way up later to an apartment then renting a house and finally to a big home in the suburbs. I give my fiancé everything and she's never worked she came from nothing being young so she has it good so do my kids. My point is I have a friend who always seems to ask me for money I never brought him down or said no because I'm all about help so I loaned him so far up to 15k I signed so he could get a car a apartment etc with my credit from the money he owes I've never asked for it back knowing it was borrowed know I'm starting to think I'm being used because he wants me to put him to work in the refineries me being boss I can bring in who I want my fiancé says I should ask for the money but i say let him work so he can pay me back but she says don't give him a job he's my high school friend been through it all in the past I do t really need the money because I'm at a point in life where I can afford to buy nice things and spend but my fiancé insists what should I do ......

Report this

10 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Leave her dumbass she's a bloodsucker tell her to get a job if she wants to lend money

  • When you loan money to someone, it's up to you to set the terms. Most people will avoid paying until they realize it's expected, and then they start paying. You sent him a signal that nothing was expected, and so nothing was repaid. The cement may have already set, but explain to him that this is damaging your friendship with him as well as your relationship with your fiance, and ask him what he'd feel comfortable paying. Set up an autodraft so that you don't have to play collection agent each month - it'll just come out of his acct directly. Offering him a job is dangerous, given the precedent (you give, he takes). It's hard to imagine him applying himself as he would with a boss who hadn't been so generous in the past. You'll really make things complicated once he becomes a subordinate. ..... If you can't get the money back, think of it this way. You just paid $15k for a college course in how to avoid loaning money to friends. And as a result you've learned your lesson and you'll never do it again. Give, yes. Loan, never.

  • I think you are truly blessed and you should let him work for you of course but let him know that business is business and tell him not to try to flex in the workplace just because you know him. As far as the money goes, you should let him pay a percentage of it back especially if you say for don't need it. He's kinda messed up a little bit because he hasn't said anything to you about it but at the end of the day that is your best friend and money comes and goes

  • I'm aware he will probably not get a chance to pay me back and I'm consciously okay with that. It's not much of the money I care for I just want a friendship connection again for him not to feel like he "HAS" a life debt with me or the need to feel intimidation by me and what I have. Maybe a chat and drink and stubbornness of invitations will soak up his des aspiration to think I want 15k and all the favors paid back when in reality I just want words

  • Call him tomorrow and set something up - say you miss hanging out with him, it's been a long time. And you don't want the loaning of money to get in the way of your friendship. Good luck! Post again after you have met up with him.

  • It's not more about the money and it's the fact that I feel I did wrong because everyone says I shouldn'tve helped him so much because now he doesn't seem to come around. so I'm willing to help again and give him a job wether he chooses to pay me back on his own or not. My fiancé just insists if this time I'm going to help him again he should thank me by paying me 15k back but I'm not all about the money so I'm in between do I help him for my own good deeds or help him because my fiancé insists she thinks I'm being token advantage of by him ..

  • Stop labeling it as right and wrong. What you choose to do is different that what someone else in your position chooses to do. There is a fine line between helping someone out and being taken advantage of. If you think that you are helping, then that's all that matters. If you notice, that he only comes by when he needs money, you are being taken advantage of. Friendship needs to be give and take, otherwise you begin to take score. 15K is very generous. You've gone above and beyond good deed. You may not see this again. He may never get to a place financially where he's able to pay you back. Are you okay with this? From what you have said, it sounds as if your friend isn't making any other efforts to see you. What was the friendship like prior to the money. Did you guys hang out a lot? Did he call you? Do you call him? You have worked hard for your money. And you should be able to do what you want to do (pay, loan, give etc) and not justify it. You felt it was right to give your friend the money. That's really no one's business but you and your friend. You were helping him out. Maybe stop talking to your friends about it, so they aren't aware of this arrangement. With your fiance, she just doesn't want to see you get hurt. I think you have to have a talk with your friend. I think that would answer a lot of questions. And just say, hey I don't see you a lot. It would be nice if you come over for dinner or meet up for drinks. Something casual - if you go out, don't be so quick to pay his meal. And maybe you want to bring up a payment plan that you both could feel good about. There are other ways to show your kindness and do good deeds and it doesn't have to have a monetary value. Even if you ask your friend for the money, you're still a good person who does good deeds.

  • He's a trucker so he's really never home from the money he gets he pays bills,rent,food, personal stuff etc. he just recently lost his job and I tend to invite him to my house but I feel as if he feels intimidated by my house and where I'm at now which by no means I'm a d*** I'm as humble as can be still the same dude since high school he won't come to my get together a at the house or show up which is something I figure out was I wrong for letting him borrow money and co signing that I made him disappear or me I still wrong for not asking for the money back that I really don't need back its just I was raised you help others when you want to not when you want something back in return to the favor you did for that person

  • Unless you ask him why he doesn't come over, you'll never know. I think you nailed it.. It's probably intimidation by your other guests..but again you just never know. Not too mention, when you lose your job it doesn't make you want to socialize and answer the question..so what do you for work. Maybe the job offer would be something he would be open to. And it shouldn't be that you're wrong for lending money to a friend. You felt it was and is the right thing to do. He may never be able to pay you back, you have to be okay with that.

  • Money between friends is never a good thing, because it can end badly..if you let it. It's your money, if you want to give it to a friend, then you should. But unless you have an agreement that shows how this money will be repaid. That money is as good as gone. Because it doesn't sound like your friend has made any effort to do so. And you certainly don't have to justify who you want to help. You are kind and generous. 15K and cosigning on his apartment and car is a lot of money. Because if he's not able to pay, you're responsible for the notes. Moving forward, giving this guy any more money should not be an option. If you want to help him, buy him dinner, pay a utility bill ..smaller type things. Maybe asking him to help you with home projects can be away to work off some of what he owes you. The job offer is nice, if he's qualified. But it doesn't sound legal for you to garnish his wages because he owes you and you also can't assume that just because you give him a job that he'll start paying you back. How is he paying for his car and apartment now?

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?