I am possibly the only person at my high school with a piece of information. And that is by no means a blessing in this situation. This information has been on my mind for a couple months and I want to get it off my chest. I know why my friend committed suicide on August 22, 2015. He committed Suicide because earlier that year was the first time that he was in band and was not on the side that came out on top. He had been a member of the Drum corps The cadets, ( a worthless group in my opinion) who had offered him a position to march for his instrument, the trumpet. When he was unable to attend the first week of rehearsals that summer due to final Exams, They cut him from the program. That system shock of not coming out on top was a shock to both his ego, as well as his self estem. In late April/Early may, we even had a discussion on Suicide and how it was not the option, about how there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. Well, despite me begging and pleading for him to please leave that program, and all its corruption he stayed. I do believe that when he was named Brass Captain, it was a system shock for him. I don’t know because I didn’t talk to him in the month of August. On the last Saturday of summer vacation, his parents went with his sister to drop her off in College. He made a pot of Spaghetti’os for lunch and looked up dome pokemon cards. Nothing unusual for someones last day on earth. He stopped texting at about 6:30 that evening, and never showed up to the band pool party. He hung himself in his family’s entry way. His family was unaware of this tragic scenario, and asked a family friend to stop by and see if everything was alright. The family friend had his young son, about 9, in the car with him. When he opened the door, he saw the body hanging, and took his youngest son back into the car. I can’t imagine the grief that had fallen upon him. He had to call my friend’s parents and deliver the words that no one ever wants to even consider. They spared the other band members the agony of knowing that he had committed suicide, instead opting only to say he had passed away. I was told by someone in band that he had been killed in a car crash, and at that point I had to ask myself, is ignorance bliss, or is it disrespect for the dead? I didn’t see a need to correct his version of the story, and he as a result has a clean conscious. And after writing this out, mine is also a little cleaner, it doesn’t have the same shroud of anxiety flooding over it. All I can do is ask that anyone who reads this does one thing; please don’t be afraid to fail, you will learn more from two or three failures than a hundred victories. And parents, make sure your kids always have a way out, and a goal to work towards that can not be taken from them by a petty organization. Please , don’t take your time with people for granted, no matter how entrenched in your life they are, always let people know how much you care for them , as well as about them.

Feb 23, 2016

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  • I wouldn't wish this on anyone but in the filter if something like this happens physical being and contact always seem to do better than text.I've not only had this happen but hated myself for it.

  • Thanks for such good and caring thoughts and advice.

  • Reading this almost made me cry. Not just for what you and your friends family went through but for all the missed experiences and opportunities your friend will never experience. I think its best to not correct anyone's knowledge on how he died. Most people can't process the loss of a suicide. You have nothing to clear your conscience about. You did all you could to remind your friend that suicide is never the option. I speak as one who lost two close family members to suicide. In the end it is always the fault and responsibility of the person who took his own life. Your friend fell into the pit of despair and was too weak to climb out. I hope others reading this story will be reminded how precious life is and how trivial things we get upset at are in the greater scheme of things. Suicide is never the answer.

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