I'm pretty sure I'm crazy

So for as long as I can remember I've had an imaginary friend, I was diagnosed with bipolar as a teen after attacking a teacher at my school for very little reason , I regularly see my imaginary friends and people who are not there , they talk to me often , I regularly say and do things I can't stop and have no control over , I hate physical contact and struggle with any contact with most people !
My husband is great and understands me he makes sure I'm okay but I can't tell him the truth about how bad it is , as a teen I had an eating disorder that was never resolved I pretended to get better for a while and then eventually everyone left me alone and went back to my ways , I often take many diet pills and stop eating entirely , I can't be honest with anyone about how out of control I feel because although I want help I have children and I know they would be taken away if anyone ever knew , I have no friends and rarely see anyone except my husband so I avoid anyone finding out and keep my outbursts to a minimum ! I am pretty sure I've really started loosing it lately I can't keep track of what I'm doing and I am not sure how to deal with that , the only way I know how to feel in control is to stop eating but I don't want my children to see that .

I've spent many years fighting myself and I feel so alone but at the same time hate anyone being around me my husband hates it because I flinch if he touches me and I move if he kisses me the fact I have children is amazing because I really don't like s** either it's horrible having that much touching going on. Of course I do it to keep my husband happy but it makes me feel physically sick ! I can't cope with myself anymore and I just wish someone could help me

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  • Spiritual attack doesn't exist. But the disorder sounds like DID and PTSD.

  • You are not crazy, and a mental disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. Seek help hun. Your kids wont be taken. Trust me. I've been there. Your "imaginary" friends might not be so imaginary. Have you ever considered you may be under spiritual attack? I know that I personally am.. Just something to consider. If you need a friend ill send you my email. Much luck to you

  • Dear Friend,
    Why not get into therapy so that you can process all of these issues? Good luck and let us know how things turn out.

  • Get to a doctor. There are effective treatments for bi polar disease.

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