I want to send my words to you only coz it is you only with whom i share my heart rest are all petty formalities. Sometimes i feel so sad when it seems people talk to me without any heart and soul connection its like they just have to so they speak.
The pangs of humiliation eat me up i console myself only its my fault,but this things make me feel down i squeeze and confine myself so much that i dont even like to utter a single word.
No its not depression,its frustrations to core about oneself,about world ...If you think i live in past you are wrong i dont but yes i an never forget it though so it gives me the power not to repeat my mistakes ever again.
In my present i cant see anything bright ,i cant read thoughts though i can feel the connect but the sparks i cant feel misreading everything bothers me much..
i confess i am scared...scared to lose myself ,scared to lose you if all becomes misfires ..such vulnerable is my state of mind that sometimes i just skip thinking..
Its a game we played for years but now i feel i am only becoming its prey ..its a dangerous game..
but you know my heart still say its you i see but my horrible mind kills me with its whip..
i dont know what i need to do..i cant live without you neither i can be with you..i just hate the state i find myself in..
none to share so to you i write here.
i am tired of searching ,finding and losing always.
The zeal that was there to explore and reach has dried up long ago now i just want to rest my head on your chest and travel in someplace where lies only peace no fear of losing..