Young marriage

Confessing that maybe we rushed into things too soon. We got married after 4 months of dating eachother.. Now we're 5 months married and I'm 3 months pregnant.
Feeling like we should have gotten to know eachother more. He's not ready for this I can tell, but he says he loves me so much. Always says it but doesn't show it in the most simple ways.. I'm clearly hurting right now you can tell I've been crying and there he is sitting there on the couch watching tv.. He could at least come and just hold me and tell me things are going to be okay but he just doesn't. Things are getting less and less interesting as the time passes by.. I'm feeling like I'm just his s** toy he has s** with whenever he feels like it and when I want to he tells me to get away.. Feeling really unloved. And I'm pregnant and shouldn't be know this is when I need him the most? Shouldn't he know to show me the most love? But he doesn't.

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  • Sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. Please consider getting marital counseling as it would likely help you two a lot. Be well.

  • I realize this is easier for me to say than for you to do, but try not to assume too much about how aware your husband may be (or should be) regarding your feelings. At least attempt to talk to him, explain your worries and your needs, but without criticizing him or allowing him to believe he's under attack for "not knowing". Tell him you love him, and that you -- like any other human being -- need and want to be loved, and to have that displayed. Agree to do the same for him. Tell him you want the marriage to work (assuming that you do, of course), and you're willing to go to counseling to help strengthen your marriage. Relationships are fueled by time (time spent together), and they require lots of maintenance. But the good news is that they are totally worth the effort. I wish you only the best.

  • Congrats! A lot of exciting milestones happening for you all at once. It seems that you are living in a world of expectations. How he should be and how he should act or react. And even when it seems super obvious, sometimes you have to let people know what you need from them. It may to your benefit for you to both go to couples counseling. Communication will be key (among other things) to make sure this union works. Not only for you as newlyweds, but for you both as new parents. 4 months is not a long time to know someone, but you know what even people who date for 10 years and then get married sometimes find out it doesn't work. Sometimes people give up too easily. You both need to put the work in now and keep getting to know each other and figure out how to work together as a team. Because when that baby comes, it will change your dynamics again. Talk to him. Talk about your needs and his needs.

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