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Stupid dependency
A year ago I started going out with a guy from school, we had so much in common and we became best friends.
Than we started to have feelings for eachother and we started dating. He was always there for me and he always wanted to see me and talk to me, we constantly texted eachother and saw eachother almost every day.
Since we fell in love so badly I became WAY to dependent.
I can't spend a day without seeing him. If he wants to do something with friends without me I am always devastated, even though it is normal for him to want to see his friends. It's just because in the beginning of our friendship and relationship he never wanted anyone else not even a friend so now, when he does, I feel like I'm not good enough and I keep thinking "there was a time when I was enough and the only one..." last summer we spent the summer together as best friends and this summer we're spending together as a couple but now he wants his space and it really hurts me.
He has never ever told me that he didn't feel like seeing me in two years until a week ago. It makes me so confused that I don't even know if how I'm feeling is normal and i constantly need peoples opinions just to make sure that what I am feeling is normal. I seriously think I have a dependent personality disorder, and I have no idea how to handle this! I am only a teendager so my life is already complicated enough in my head. I really need help and I don't know where to get it. I can't keep being broken hearted just because one day my boyfriend doesn't feel like seeing me or wants to do something with somebody else. I don't have friends to talk to either..
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Iseen this happen to me young teenagers, never give into them you if do, sooner or later they want, just like a newspaper, when you get done with it, you throw it away, wake up okay, when you need somebody, just remember one thing, the newspaper? Said No okay, then you have the respect from them, if he walk off and leave you by yourself, now you know about man, all they wanted is **, look at your self in the mirror, I know you are better person than that,
Sounds like he needs his space. It's too serious for him and you're going to have deal with this. You'll be okay. It doesn't sound like the end, but sounds like it's time for a change.
Start by talking with someone, maybe a therapist, about steps to gain more independence and confidence, so you aren't codependent. It will help all of your future relationships, and your current one. It's important to find a healthy balance in your life with regards to your relationships. Make some friends. Ask friends to have lunch or go to movies etc.. When you and your friends make plans, honor them. Don't flake because your boyfriend is suddenly available. No one likes that.
Being "special" or the "only one" shouldn't mean at the cost of having no one else in either of your lives. Just because you don't see him or talk to him each day, doesn't mean he's not there for you or your relationship is in trouble. You have to trust that it's strong enough.
You both should have a life and friends outside of your relationship. It's not healthy to be so wrapped up in someone. You both need friends and you both need breaks from one another. You should be enough on your own, with or without him.
Talk with your boyfriend - communication is key. Talk about what you're both feeling and work it out. It may be uncomfortable to bring it up, but life is not always comfortable.
I would but I don't know how to tell him I don't even know what to say
Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that he was your best friend and it feels like you don't have that relationship anymore. It's always best to talk to the that special person, especially when the problem involves them