I know it's abuse
I guess I've known for a while that my husband is abusive. Not like in the movies. It's control and manipulation most of the time.
Sixteen months ago he knocked me down repeatedly and threatened me. I was scared and bruised and called the police, who were awful to me and tried to coerce me into taking off my clothes (with 3 male officers present) to look at my bruises. So I said never again.
Two weeks ago my husband hurt me during s**. It was deliberate and he liked it, got off on it. I cried for hours from fear and pain and wondered what would happen if I called the police again. But I won't. They won't help me. Now I wonder what will happen next.