I'm in love with my best friend.

I met my fest friend at summer camp when we were ten. We immediately became close. We were both kinda wierd and different and didn't have a lot of friends. From the day that we met people used to think that we were dating. We weren't though. And for the longest time we never even though about it. When we were 15 I started to have a crush on him. Nothing major. Just those silly little butterflies you get when you like someone. I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want to tell anyone cause of the silly joke people had that we were dating. I didn't want to give them more ammunition. Later that year he came out to me as gay and I quickly got over him within a few weeks. We continued to talk and nothing really changed until later that year. He don't me he loved me. I was shocked. Mostly cause I thought he was gay. He told me he was bi and that he loved me. I have just gotten over him a few months earlier. So I told him I didn't feel the same way. A few months later when we were 16 however he kissed me, and I liked it. He was my first kiss. (Yah yah I know my first kiss was so late) we kissed a few more times but didn't want to date. But I felt my self dally for him. And unlike last time when it was just a little crush this time I fell hard. I kept trying to deny it and say that it was nothing, but it wasn't I was in love with him. After that year we sorta didn't see each other for two years. We didn't have camp anymore and he lived really far away. I got my first boyfriend. He dated other people. We talked but not a lot. Things kinda paused for us. Then our senior year his family moved closer to me. We agreed to see each other for Halloween. At this point we were both single. I came to his house where we baked cookies and watched you tube. At the end of the night we made out by his gate and I realized my feelings for home never went away. We continued to hang out and become a part of each others lives again. That summer I lost my virginity to him. Today I'm in Israel for a year and he's in America. When I get home he's going to live 6 hours away from me for school. We are not dating even though we want to be. I love him and he loves me and I want to spend the rest of my life loving him.

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