She's gone...

I honestly don't know why I want anything to do with you after what you've done. You've been physically violent, lied to your friends and family about me to get sympathy, got a DUI and blamed me for it to your entire family, put everyone before me and this marriage, lied to me too many times to count and on top of all this. On top of all've had herpes since before we got together almost 5 years ago, and you hid it from me. You've never told the truth a day in your life. You've never came to me with honesty, conviction or remorse. You blame me for lying, deceiving me, hiding the truth and you even blame me for hiding the herpes. What the h*** is wrong with you?! You said there was no good time to tell me. You said if u told me then I wouldn't have married you. Then you said you were protecting me by hiding it. Then you said you couldn't tell me because I have anger issues. Who the h*** wouldn't get mad?! But you know what makes this so screwed up? Is that you hide behind the Bible and play off that your so religious and everything is ALWAYS someone else's fault. Your one of the worst kinds of hypocrites because you know better. You were raised in church, your parents never divorced, you grew up in the same house and went to the same school system your whole life. You had family vacations, hot food on the table every day, only got one spanking your whole life. You had it made. You know I was constantly beat on, sexually abused, had alcoholic parents, bounced from house to to town, stood in line twice a year with boxes to get the govt. food. I trusted you telling you all this. I poured my heart out to you and you stomped all over it. I will never ever trust another woman as long as I live and especially one that tells me how she just wants to be a godly woman. You have no clue what you've done to me and i honestly don't know if I can get back up this time.

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  • Why are you putting up with this? If you are religious and think divorce is wrong, you should know that it is not if you got into the marriage not knowing all of the facts. You thought you were marrying one person, but she turned out to be completely different. You have been used, and taken advantage of. She does not seem like the kind of person who sees that what she did was wrong, and she will most likely suck any other shred of dignity and hope out of you. I understand it is hard to look at a person, wonder where the one who you loved beyond words went, and hope that they will be back...I understand that. But you need to understand that they are not coming back. You sound like a great person who has been dealt many bad hands, but is still standing. Don't let her take that away from you. There are some thing that time can fix, but if you run out of time waiting for a person who is gone to come back, there will be no healing. You don't have to cut ties with someone completely to acknowledge that you need to lead separate lives.
    I am not saying it will be easy because you obviously still care for her, but clearly a lot is not working out, and it is hurting you, and her too probably. Unless she is actually mentally ill ( compulsive liar), then you should not put up with any of her abuse.
    We can all tell you that you deserve better, you we can't believe it for you. That's all up to you. I wish you the best!

  • Thank you. It sounds like your speaking from experience. I haven't talked to her in a while and I'm starting to feel alot better about it all. I think her being gone has given me the chance to fall back and regroup so to speak. Things make alot more sense now and it feels like the fog is lifting.

  • ........sometimes.................a b**** just need a beating......

  • Wow..she's just on a downward spiral. What the saddest part of this is really she hurts you terribly and hurts herself by never owning up to anything. At some point, she has to wonder when enough is enough and actually change. It's not even about religion, it's about evolving and maturing as an individual. Man or woman -- it always makes me wonder what makes people operate this way. Are they cries for attention? Is it an undiagnosed mental illness? Maybe she's bipolar..It seems it was more important for her to save face with her parents/family than with you, her husband. And maybe had she had the decency to come clean to you early on, you may have been able to work through things. Instead, she keeps f****** up and deflecting blame. She may not have any idea how to be honest with anyone, because she's not honest with herself. You have to wonder what else is she hiding. Hope you are able to heal, move on and find love again.

  • I gave it another shot today and asked her if she wanted to go to church and out to eat. She told me no because her daughter asked her to go somewhere with her already. Her daughter ended up not going so she went with me. Which to me, if she was serious about reconciling she would have told her daughter no, not me. So she ended up going with me, then we went to eat, came back to my house and it all went down hill. I keep trying to tell her what I need from her and ask her what she needs from me and that would give us somewhere to start but she just keeps making excuses and doesn't want to put the work into it and she doesn't want to separate her family from out marriage. Then she had the nerve to tell me if I hadn't been going thru her stuff I never would have found her herpes medication. I'm done... it's time to move on.

  • It's hard to let go, but I think who you want her to be and who she is are two different people least right now. It's akin to being in an abusive relationship or with an addict. You love them, you want to work things out but they aren't ready to change and so you must. Hopefully, someday she will "wake up" and realize just for her sake of growing as a person. You really have done all you can do.

  • You watch. No dames will write anything because they know they are clueless. Furthermore, they know that they are all selfish liars. All they want the security for is money or the proverbial meal ticket. Then they stonewall their guilt when confronted. It's textbook corruption, careless to how emotionally disruptive they can be.

  • Churches are filled with people like this b****. My ex-wife was like this. Is your name Neal Z by any chance?

  • People like this is why I won't date! That sucks dude sorry

  • ^^^^ and I am a woman. Don't walk away - RUN

  • Go seek counseling. Then disconnect from this woman for good you deserve better.

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