How to Lose a Friend

So I started going out with a guy... The problem? He's my friend's ex.
However, she's trying to go out with one of his friends, so I didn't see a problem with it.

She has a problem with it.

She gave an ultimatum: her or him.

I've been friends with her for 11 years. She wants to throw away eleven years of friendship over her hypocrisy. ("Friends don't go out with friend's exes." "He's {ex's} friend, but who cares?") It p***** me off and don't know what to do.
I feel like I should go with the ex, because he wasn't the ultimatum-giving a******, but he just graduated from high school an hour ago and I'm 16.

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  • Sometimes there are choices that you will make and not everyone will agree or be happy with the outcome. But that's life. You may lose friends over some things. But it seems like you don't understand what your friend may be feeling. So for the sake of the argument - consider putting yourself in your friend's shoes. How would you feel if you had a serious boyfriend, you guys break up and then they start dating. Would you honestly be okay. Or how about this guy you are dating..(her ex).. what if you guys break up and he goes back to her? He liked her once, it could happen. Part of the reason why the rule of not dating a friend's ex is often times jealousy or unresolved feelings arise. And also sometimes these boyfriends only lasts weeks/months (especially high school romances) and friendships last years. Who knows.. maybe your friend can elaborate. Not all high school romances are that serious..maybe she's concerned that she'll feel like a 3rd wheel around you two or just uncomfortable in general... Look you are 16, and your bf just graduated as you said. Is he going off to college? Is school going to be awkward if he's not there and your best friend is no longer your bestie? Time for a talk if this friendship is worth it. And maybe it's not about making final decisions, maybe it's about compromise and balance when it comes to your bf and best friend...

  • She's too hung up on this other guy. Either way, she broke up with him and they both claim to be over each other.

  • I should probably add that he is not going to college (yet). He plans on joining the military in the fall.

  • I lost a friend after my mother loaned him $15.00 and he didn't pay it back. He got a ticket from two redneck cops and he had to pay $52.00 or stay in jail all night. He paid the money and I told him that it was Karma for not paying mother her money. He started whining and I quit hanging out with him.

  • Do you want her to be able to control who you see romantically? Sounds like she's just trying to exercise power over you, and as you say, your boyfriend isn't the one giving you an ultimatum.

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