Yes, I am planning on killing myself

That article about unrequited love – it made me want to hasten things. It made me want to put on my best Sunday dress, and walk right out into this mess of mine. It made me want to wrap myself in the flag, and bury a bullet in my skull.

I know what I get to look forward to. A lifetime of failure. A lifetime of praying that she will come around and love me. A lifetime of depression and self-loathing, followed by watching her find someone else, watching her fall for that someone, and watching her marry that someone.

On the 4th of October, she asked me if I was going to kill myself if she found someone else. I should have just told her the truth. Yes, I am going to kill myself. I love you that much. No, I can not live without you. It wouldn’t have done a damn bit of good to tell her the truth, it would have just caused more problems. She would have said that she couldn’t trust me, and she’d have turned away when she needed someone to help her.

I hate what I see when I see me.

Report this


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • I’ve been there before. Yes it’s tough... real f****** tough. I got through it with my family and friends I could trust. She was cheating on me and we had one small kid. She told me she loved him and not me. I prayed, went to church and fought it out. Was it tough? H*** yes very tough. I asked them man above to help me get through it. Guess what? It worked,I kept myself busy working two jobs and that alone was a reward itself.
    When she saw how well I was doing she wanted me back. I quickly said no way!
    It hurt because we had a young child but that child meant more to me than anything. 2 years later I remarried and now have 3 wonderful kids. Not all marriages are meant to be. My case may be totally different and I think in a way it is. Give yourself some time and watch the progress down the road.Hirting yourself for someone who doesn’t love you is not worth it

  • You can't make someone love you.

  • I feel the same way...

  • dont hold onto people from the past-there is a reason why they didnt make it into your future. find out that reason, accept it, and move on and be happy. you are obv. grieving the loss of this person in your life. there are 5 steps in the grieving process. 1. denial ( not me) 2. anger (why me) 3. bargaining (yes me, but..) 4. depression (yes me) 5.acceptance. (finishing unfinished business.) you seem to be in depression stage. now you just need to accept the fact that you wont have this person in your life, and know that there is something else out there. you need time to take its course and go through a sad stage, but eventually get out of it. its not worth being miserable over. dont waste your life being upset, it is not worth it at all

  • it seems as if this woman has made a really big impact on your life. no matter how big the impact, though, i don't think you should take your own life because of it. the only thing to have in your heart now is that she is happy now, and you need to either be happy for her or you need to find your happiness yourself. also know that some people arent meant to be a permanent part of your life for a reason, and that it could be for the best that things did not work out between you both. you will eventually meet someone who will fit in your life the way you want them to. it may not be until today, tommorow, or 5 years from now. but just know that you will be ok, you just have to keep holding on to the things that make you a happier person. good luck

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?