IM GENTLE

I've been with my gf for 2 years known her for more than 5 years she had a rough past her ex be was a p**** and was abusive both physical and mental very manipulative and kept her away from friends. He raped her more than a few times but the last time it took him to jail. He's in jail and will be for years to come. When I first got with my gf I didn't know until she confessed so I never touched the s** subject I was always about getting to know her personal and making her feel loved respected as soon as she became my gf that's when I said to myself I will make this woman happy and respect and lov her give her all that she's never had it was hard for her to get used to having the door opened or the small surprises or staring into her eyes talking love. But eventually she got very comfortable when it came time
To be intimate I was gentle took my time and cherished her with kisses. When it came time that she noticed I had a huge b**** and was hard as rock I gently put it in but in the back of
My head was the words that her ex raped her and for some reason I couldn't give in. I think that's affected most of our relationship because we've stopped being intimate every now and then when we lay together she'll want to erect me and give me head or hand jobs but I don't let her because I feel she deserves more I try to be as gentle as I can but the thoughts run through my head how her ex vandalized her body. Am I an a****** for thinking this way or is couple therapy better for the both of us because I love this woman with all my heart what ever she wants she gets it and in a few months we will both be a part of her best friends wedding and I know she will get that wedding fever and I want to marry this woman we've been renting for 2years now and I came to a point where she wanted a house and talked to me about her dream home she doesn't know that the home is being built because it's a surprise it's been started on since the day she told me the home is officially done on time when our contract ends in two months I'm nervous excited and scared because in the future I don't want it to affect our relationship that I can't be active with her because those thoughts any advice her for a young 23yr old stud

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  • Take counseling it may just be the help you both need. S** is a part of a relationship you can't turn a woman down because as much as it hurts the guys it hurts us too. Couples therapy would be the best answer here maybe sitting down and taking away with a counselor too don't rush too easily on the house give it time and fix yourselves up first. Best of luck

  • It seems obvious as though you love your girlfriend and are not going to abuse her like her ex. She knows that. She trusts you. But she should definitely go to counseling and deal with the trauma of being with an abusive boyfriend. And you two going to couples counseling would be a very good idea. Physical abuse is just one form of abuse. There is also emotional and mental which can be equally devastating. How you two communicate would be a very good thing to talk about. Not saying you two get in fights. And you taking on some of her PTSD can be detrimental to her healing. When she makes the first move on you, she's comfortable with you and trusts you. When you tell her no or move her hands away, she could view that as rejection, that you don't want her. It's one thing if you are not in the mood, but if you think you are helping her in someway, you may not be. At some point, you both need to trust to have true intimacy. Not having s** just avoids great issues. Not saying you should push yourself on her at all, but s** is part of a relationship. This topic of each of your needs has to be brought up. As for the the house thing.. It's definitely an over the top romantic gesture. And maybe it would be more acceptable if you were already engaged or married. But you're not. You've been dating 2 years and there are some fairly big issues that need to be addressed. You definitely don't want her to feel trapped or forced to say YES because you did this for "the both of you". You guys have a lot to work on in your relationship. How do you know she's even ready for that? If she is, more power to you and hope it all works out.

  • Just have s** and stop over thinking it she wants you if she didn't you think she'd be trying to slide her hand down your pants or give you head she wants it f*** her like a man

  • Sounds like you've invented your own idea of the rape in your head. You didn't go through it, she did! Whatever you think it was in your head isn't real, it's just your brain trying to imagine it. Be sensitive to her past experiences, but the best thing you can do, once she is ready, is have s** with her so she can get back to being a normal girl again.

  • If u dont f*** her someone will

  • U are a p**** she probably wants some kinky s***, u can be gentle sometimes and then rough her up other times. it sounds like ur more hung up on it than she is, and she'll end up with someone who isn't hung up on that s***. Usually women are the ones who fall for fixer upers lol.

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