I was raped when I was 13.
It f***** me up. Real bad.
I can't trust anyone.
I push everyone away. Especially guys.
I've never had a boyfriend. I've never made out with a guy.
Only kissed one when I was 14 he was 19. It was the first night I met him.
He pushed me against his car and kissed me.
I'm 18 now. And though I feel pathetic for never having made out with a guy. I wish I could go back in time and take back that kiss.
And most of all I want to take back that f****** rape.
I want more than anything to just be 'pure'.
I want more than anything to fall in love.
Not just get a boyfriend.
I want to fall in love and get married.
Even if that means waiting till I'm 20 or even older to finally make out with a guy then I'll wait. I want my husband to be the first man I have ever made out with.
That sounds stupid.
Oh, and my secret... none of my friends know I've never made out with a guy. They're all sexual active so I just lie and say I've done things with guys before.