Please let this be the last time

I am sorry to God. They say if I try to be better you spare me. Some people don't understand addiction. I need you now. I need to confess to someone.I am so very very sorry. Please usher me away from this. My life has already been ruined. Please give me the strength to get up and move on.Dear Lord I love you more than my addiction. Help me begin to repent and tell you how sorry I am. If I hurt anyone I am sorry. Everyone seems to be ok but me though. Please help me get up tomorrow and do what needs doing. I'm walking away from this living h***. I think I have suffered enough.I am ready to just walk away from it all. Erika I know you won't see this but I am sorry. I actually like you as a friend and I miss my friends. please have mercy on me. I'm laying here.

Sep 13, 2016

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  • Getting high is good why do people stop

  • Get a clippers and cut the hairs n ur arsh

  • How often do u wash ur ass

  • Thank you for being here for me and sharing. I am so sorry that you are dealing with cocaine addiction. I hope you can will yourself away and keep away from it. Honest to god. Nobody deserves what you must go through. Please stop hurting yourself. I mean I don't know you but look at what you said to me. I love you for that and I wish humans had the capacity to do that for me in real life. Please take care of yourself. And I hate that anything I put here won't take away your pain. Somehow when people told me I deserve better it made me feel worse. Just please know I am trying to reach out to you and genuinely care. I think if I had the ability to help you off cocaine I would do it. But the real problem is staying away from it forever.

  • Each time u want to use stick ur finger n ur ass take it down and suck worked 4 me

  • Thank you so much for writing to me:) I genuinely love you too, and totally understand your struggle! I have spent an enormous amount of money on cocaine this year that it astounds me. I get really great stuff that makes me feel very euphoric, so it'll be difficult to not have that pleasurable kind of feeling. The great news is that I was finally prescribed Adderall, which feels fabulous with a cup of coffee. I need to start enjoying that and putting the coke aside. Thank you very much for your awesome and caring response! I care about you too and sincerely hope that you can overcome your demons that keep telling you "just one more time.." I love Narcotics Anonymous, and will definitely go back to those meetings. Basically everyone there has gone through the same thing we are. It's wonderful to know that people are there to help a struggling addict get clean! I had such an amazing life when I was clean!! I want that back again. I want my LIFE back! Time doesn't wait for anyone, and we can't get back the time, money & energy we are wasting chasing that damn drug. I hope with all of my heart that you can quit as well. It's difficult to do it on your own, and I know for myself I need lots of support from the people at N/A. Enjoy your journey and write anytime! I'll check back here. Have a blessed day/night, and it was great conversing with you! :)

  • You know, it's very interesting that I happened to read your writing. I'm essentially going through the exact same thing. I'm addicted to cocaine (I have been sniffing it for years, and started smoking it again last year). I pray to God often and apologize profusely for being so self destructive. My apartment is a mess, I have no money right now, my friends are disgusted with me, I can't hold a job, I'm already on psych meds that can't be working as they are supposed to work (I'm bipolar, have bpd and depression), and to top it all off, my f****** drug dealer lives in the same building as me! My neighborhood is filled with drug dealers too. I got high with these two scumbags that told my whole building that I smoke crack! To look at me, you'd never think I'm drug addicted, but surprise! I hide it well, or so I think by showering regularly and having good grooming. I have got to stop this too. We deserve better! I have enough problems without drugs being a major one. I was sober for years and years. I went to Narcotics Anonymous and kicked ass in life. Look at me now. I'm a mess! God is there for us, and has mercy on addicts like us. I'm afraid I'll overdose or something. I wish you sincere luck in fighting your addiction. It's a hard fight, but the first steps admitting you have a problem, like we've both done. Good luck my friend, and do keep us posted..

  • Ur lucky to hav a dealer so near i hav 2 go 40 miles 2 get my fix u should go out now and get a shot and stop 2mor

  • If god exists he helps those who helps themselves. If you want to become unaddicted you have to do it on your own.

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