I might have a problem.

It's been about two years now since I've had a very odd but intense obessession. I don't know if it's normal and perfectly healthy for my own sanity or if it's something for which I need to see a professsional.

Well, here it goes:

I am a 43 year old man, and I live with my wife and two daughters. My oldest daughter is currently 14 years old and has about three friends with whom she hangs out regularly. One of her friends who is also 14 vehemently infatuates me. She is so beautiful, smart, and funny that it makes me wish that I was her friend too. Let's call her Ashley.

Ashley is definitely the leader of the pack-- my daughter and her other friends always follow her every way. It makes me want to follow her too. When my daughter isn't home, I put on my daughter's clothes (I'm a 5'3" man who is 118 lbs) and put on her perfume and some make-up (I'm getting pretty good at it now) and pretend to be friends with Ashley. Ashley sometimes leaves clothes from sleep overs in my daughter's closet, and I've tried those on too. I like putting them onto my daughter's big teddy bear too and cuddling with it-- pretending that it's Ashley, of course.

Seeing that our daughters are best friends, I've gotten use to seeing Ashley's father and have even gone out to be friends with him as well. Of course, I really only befriended him because of my extreme obsession with his daughter. I don't even really like the man. Sometimes we go fishing together. Last week, he invited me on a fishing trip with his buddies that was going to last all weekend, but I declined. His wife wanted to go on trip with her gal friends to some convention in Indianapolis as well, so they asked me if Ashley could stay at our place for the weeked. I said yes-- of course!

What worries me is that I simply couldn't help myself. I knew that no one was going to be at their home, so I drove over there and let myself in their house (they left my wife with a key, and I snatched it when she wasn't in our bedroom). I went straight for Ashley's room and tried on almost every article of clothing she had-- even the clothes in the dirty hamper. I took one of my favorite outfits and other little souvenirs. One this of which I'm reather embarrassed is that I took as much of Ashley's hair that I could find from her brushes and put them in a ziplock baggy. If I smell the hair, it smells JUST like Ashley, and it's intoxicating.

I want to say that this is NOT a sexual admiration AT ALL. I would never have such thoughts. I just want to be her. Is this normal for a middle-aged man? I feel like I'm just discovering that I just want to be a transgender female, but in this case, I want to be a 14 year old girls who is just like Ashley. Any thoughts on this would be very helpful. Thank you.

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  • Does your wife know that you desire to be a girl? Perhaps that is where you need to start. You can leave little hints like telling her how lucky girls are because of all the pretty things they get to wear, or running out of clean underwear and wearing hers, then telling her how good they feel. As for Ashley better let that be, very dangerous place to dwell. I know because my niece knows I am bi-sexual and loves to tease me, sending me pix of her and her friends acting like lovers, half naked. Other times when I visit she likes to walk around half naked grinning at me, tempting me with her beauty. I would love to let her become my mistress but that will never happen, control, control, control!!

  • You can't be 14 year old girl obviously, but you can explore your feminine side and try to discover if it's just a part time pleasure or you truly are a budding transwoman. The dangerous part here is Ashley, and you could be headed for huge trouble. You could have been caught trying on her clothes and I don't have to tell you the consequences. Explore you girlishness, but for your sake, your family's sake, Ashley's sake and society's sake, FORGET HER. If you can't, you need to get help before you do something worse.

  • I'm thinking of telling her how I feel, but I'm worried that she'll tell her parents. Do you think if I was honest and told her that I want to be her friend that she'd understand. Just things like taking her for ice cream would be enough to make me happy.

  • No. She wouldn't understand. She'd be 100% totally freaked and would tell her parents. If you're lucky, he'd try to get you for attempting to corrupt a minor. Otherwise, dad's apt to get the gun and/or drop you off a roof himself.

    Did I tell you not to do this?

  • But wouldn't that charge be only for corrupting a child into commiting a crime? My intentions are not sexual. Is it illegal for a middle aged man to be best friends with a teenage girl?

  • Which is precisely why I used the language of 'attempting to corrupt a minor.' Nor do I imply that you relate to this girl in any way 'sexual.'

    That doesn't mean courts can't conclude that abuse [however the court might define it] is happening. Moreover, dad is very likely to slap you with a restraining order.

    At the very least, you need to wait until this girl is of legal age before you pursue this stuff with her. In either case, you clearly 'have issues.' And this girl doesn't deserve to have to deal with them ...

  • Of course it's sexual and oh they have covert cameras in their house.

  • There aren't. I made sure of that.

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