One and Done!

I'm so happy I only had one kid. I stuck to my guns, much to the pressure of friends and family, and knew I would never take on this much responsibility ever again. No f****** way! No support, no help, depressed, close to suicide so many times. I look back and know the only reason I survived was because I had a job to do.

My kid will be moving out soon, and I'm finally beginning to feel free again. Like me again. My depression is slowly disappearing. I'm less stressed, my nerves are less frazzled, my back pain has gone, I worry less and I'm sleeping better. Back to being a comatose sleeper. Because once you become a parent say goodbye to your sanity, surviving on little to no sleep. That lasts all the way up until you're kid is grown enough. It's a natural instinct. It's the come down. The exhale.

But when they fly, you can fly. Hold on in there.

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  • OAD rocks!!! I have all the joy and none of the sibling rivalry and crap that my friends have! Why would anyone even want more than one?

  • My mother had the solution to all of your problems and you all sound like you should have practiced it. If you don't want children keep your damn legs crossed. There are so many ways to prevent pregnancy none of you had to have kids. What kind of bubble did you grow up in that you had no idea it was going to be hard work and a lot of responsibility raising a child? You are charged with taking care of a helpless being until they can provide for themselves of course its going to be a lot of work! You are supposed to be ready to except that concept before you bring a new life into the world, its called maturity. Just because you have the ability to have children doesn't mean you have to use that ability .

  • If you don't want a child, you can keep your legs open and still be protected, using necessary precautions against pregnancy and STI's. A woman doesn't have to remain abstinent or a virgin, in fear of getting pregnant. However, it depends on where the girl/woman resides. In some Countries, religions and culture's, a female has no rights/choices, in regards to their bodies.

  • I'm pretty sure you missed the very next sentence where the poster said there were many ways to prevent pregnancy . No one is saying woman have to stay virgins or practice abstinence ,but if you aren't ready to be a parent protect yourself from getting pregnant. If he won't wear a condom don't have s** with him. Its not that hard of a concept.

  • True x

  • Reading these comments about " oh if I only knew it was so much work" are you people for real? You are bringing a new life into the world and you just think its going to be a breeze? Its called being a grown up and having responsibilities. Perhaps if your were more involved parents you would have found more joy in raising your children. The selfishness is unreal! To the woman who had three children , you didn't realize it was a lot of responsibility after the first or even the second one? You couldn't have just chose not to have anymore after the first child? Its so sad you could conceive so easily while other women who would welcome a child with loving arms are unable to.

  • As long as she loves those three children, provides and stands to face her responsibilities, she can write what she likes. Tired of hearing people use the 'so many people can't have children' excuse. Only works when children are unwanted, abused etc. What I see clearly here are good parents, working hard and doing a great job. That is why it's tough. Yes. When you're actually doing a good job, it's a great deal of responsibility and extremely hard work. In my opinion, the rubbish parents are the ones finding it a breeze! Food for nutritious thought.

  • Well said! :-)

  • I truly find this post disturbing and just going off of what was written here I feel sorry for your child. Being a parent should fill your life with joy , yes there are stressful times and you worry about them but you get through it. You sound so selfish , like it was some sort of punishment having to raise a child you created. Just the fact you refer to your child as "kid" over and over to me shows a lack of love in your heart. I'm glad you only had one child also!

  • Who says their children don't fill their lives with joy? Oh right because they haven't written it here, while venting about the tough parts make them such 'tewwible, tewwible pawents', right?! Grow up!! It isn't your life. Let them vent. And if you have 'kids' go be a good parent but remember just for consistency's sake, don't you ever, ever complain.

  • Lol I agree x

  • I always find these posts so weird. I have one daughter. She's a young teen. She's so much fun. I love being her mom. I am a single mom, but we work as a team. I love shopping with her, watching movies with her, and just having chats. I can't say there aren't stressful times as a parent, but overall she's my pride and my joy.

  • Well... That's so great for you. Truly. But parenting is a job, a job to be taken seriously, and because there are billions of other people on the planet, everyone's experience is bound to be different. There are good and bad sides to everything, including parenting. We congratulate those who speak about the good, like you have, but some people are so quick to judge those who also talk about the bad. Honestly, I prefer the honesty and realness of parents like these who take the bad with the good, and speak on it. Who talk about the struggles etc. If we had more honesty like this, more people would put serious thought into having kids, resulting in less unwanted kids, fewer children in care, fewer child victims of abuse etc.

  • It is a job. I was never my child's friend , I was his parent first and foremost . As a parent my job was to raise him and care for him. Yes there are tough times but you all just focus so much on how hard it is and how you have no freedom its all me,me,me. Suck it up , you chose to have that child ! To the OP , you say " no help, no support" other than the man who helped you create your child , who should have helped and supported you? You made the choice to make a baby by yourself, why would you expect help from anyone outside of the man you made the baby with?

  • It takes two to conceive a child. But there are other social networks that should be of support to the parents within my opinion, as well such as; Grand parents, uncle's, auntie's etc, if they're alive, able and not dysfunctional :-)

  • Were they in the room when it was decided you would make that baby. Grand parents should be able to enjoy their grand children not have to help raise them. If they want to help fine , but don't expect everyone to jump to your aid because YOU decided to have a child. That makes it your responsibility and yours alone!

  • I didn't mean new parents, close social networks, should support their children, instead of the parents.

    I'm not a parent and decided not to be, from a very young age. But I have a lot of respect for; dedicated, kind, nurturing and loving parents.

    I agree partially with your opinion in regards to; If a couple decide to have children, they're responsible for them and should be the sole guardians etc.

    However, unforseen circumstances may happen, when the close social networks of those parents, may have to intervene and become advocate's, of those children. Every parent is different and have different circumstances.

    There are different forms of support such as; emotional and financial etc. I believe
    It's also healthy to seek help and support from loved one's. If you can't ask trusted, supportive, loved ones for help when you need it, whom can you ask. It's healthy and detrimental to seek help, support and advice from health care professionals as well, if that's required.

    I think you get my point :-)

    Respect and peace x

  • Exactly. I know if I had access to these kinds of confessions back when I had mine I probably wouldn't have. I adore my baby but I was sold on all the good and easy stuff of having kid. No one, not a soul back then, dared to speak about the struggles, the heaps of responsibility, the headache, the financial burden, the emotional drain, the effort, the strain on all your relationships, the pain and worry and the feeling of being locked in. The honesty is important for parents, to be able to get some of the frustration out so they don't feel overwhelmed. Because as we know, parenting is overwhelming, and then some.

  • Yeah, once you become a parent you can't go back. I Intentionally stopped at one as well. My daughter is an adult now, and I love her and I'm proud of her, but parenthood wasn't a joy for me. I was a good mother I think, but it was just a role I played 24/7, it wasn't the real me. Exhausting to constantly fake it. Some people just aren't suited to it, and I'm one of them.

  • You all sound like a bunch of selfish t*** waffles... Somebody should have punched you in the ovaries to prevent any of you from conceiving long ago... Yup, straight shot to the baby maker.

  • Giving birth to a child is a selfless act, within itself. To carry a child inside your body, then give birth, is a miracle.

    However, the circumstances which led to a female becoming pregnant, may and does differ each female.

    Some intentions are probably selfish, some probably conceived due to being raped and so forth. Every mother has a story.

    Just remember that!

  • Guess what. You don't know until you know. Bless you for being a good parent robot. But some of us don't know we can't do the regular zombie parent duty routine without our skin hurting

  • Got three, wished I could go back to one. Love my three for real. But it's shitloads of work and responsibility

  • Yes I totally understand this! I love my kid with all my heart and feel such pride seeing a fully grown, responsibly being about to go out and take on the world, but to be a parent is definitely a tonne of responsibility. Way too much to go through again for me I'm afraid.

  • This post is so inspirational. I'm 28 with three kids, and I swear I cannot wait until the strife is finally over. Raising kids is an ordeal.

  • I'm 32 and been in a committed relationship, for eight years.
    My partner and I love children, but don't intend to have any. We don't feel the need and urge to. We believe our life is complete already, full of unconditional love.

    My mother consistently, tries to persuade me otherwise. But what she doesn't realise is, witnessing her struggle with four children, whilst having a career and minimal support from close social networks, when I was a child, partially influenced my choice not to have children. It wasn't the primary reason, but it definitely influenced my decision.

    My mother has always been, my role model.
    She struggled without complaints, whilst nurturing my siblings and I. She was our father and mother, because my father was a useless lout. I'm truly grateful to have a mother like her, within my life. I'm aware some people are, less fortunate.

    My mother is now enjoying her single life and retirement. She participates in numerous hobbies and activities, of which she couldn't do, when rearing up her children. Yes, it was my mother's choice to have four children. But she never once complained about it. However, that was and is my mother, she never complains about anything, even if she was feeling the strain and so forth. She's a testament and embodiment, to female empowerment.

    To all the dedicated, loving and striving parents out there, respect and one love.
    I believe being a good parent, is one of the hardest responsibilities, in this world.
    I'm not a parent myself, but witnessing and experiencing what my mother went through, made me realise it. She did it with dignity, love, humbleness and consistency.

    Respect and love ❤

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