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Dear Karen
I'm sorry that I made fun of you in middle school. Even when I said things about your glasses and that you were fat, I only did it because I wanted to look cool in front of my friends. I always liked you. I was immature. I apologize for not wanting to be your bf back then too, when you asked. I still can't believe all of the hurtful things that I said at the time.
Now we're seniors in high school, and I can see how beautiful you've become: smart, assertive, and drop dead gorgeous. I've sent you notes, asking if you would go on a date, but I get that you have moved on. Oh, I wish I was not an idiot and could be with you. My heart is broken, but you didn't cause the break. I did. I'm sorry for the things I did/said back in the day.
Children are idiots. Good for her that she didn't let *your* insecurity ruin *her* self-esteem. I suppose you get half a point for realizing your foolishness before age 30. Most people don't grow up emotionally beyond where you were in middle school. So I'll give you that.
Karmas a **
Have you actually apologized for teasing and bullying her? It may not get you a date, but it would probably mean more to her than you ever would know.
Wonderful confession. New self awareness.
There was a girl in high school who a bit chubby and awkward. I didn't realize until later in life that those are the kind of girls I'm into. My friends made fun of her (not to her face, to my knowledge), but still it put the idea in my head that she's not the kind of girl I should be attracted to. It crossed my mind more than a few times that I might have a crush on her, but I managed to convince myself otherwise, mostly by joining in making fun of her. I'm disgusted with myself for having done that. The good news is I'm no longer friends with those **, but the bad news I never got to be friends with her. Maybe she never would have been my girlfriend, but I regret that we were never at least friends. She was a really cool person, and I missed that opportunity. I saw her a few years ago, and she looked amazing. She didn't look much different (which is a good thing), but she was dressed up for an event and took my breath away. I talked to her for a while, and she's confident, smart, and funny and has a successful career. She was genuinely happy to see me, which made me feel guilty. It made me happy to see how she had turned out, despite what people said about her. Unfortunately, that ship has sailed because another man saw her for who she is sooner than I did, and now they're married. I was such an idiot.
You reap what you sow. I was bullied by a guy that years later thought my sense of humor was really funny but the jokes stopped when I saw that he was listening. A good rule of thumb is to go with your feelings and it it feels wrong don't do it.