I hate being a mom

I f****** hate being a mom. I love my child with all my heart but I wasn't ready for this. The person I had the baby with said he'd be there every step of the way and now I'm stuck doing this alone. I can't pee alone, eat, sleep, bathe f****** none of that. I can't go anywhere and I'm a f****** stay at home mom because my child's father wasn't going to take off work to watch her and no one else could and I didn't have the money to put her in daycare. I'm starting to hate my child's father. We don't even f****** live together because he would rather be a roommate with his friend than to share responsibility of having this child. He thinks because he brings diapers every now and again that he's a "parent". He drops by and leaves. He gets a break and some freedom. I'm here 24/7. It drives me crazy because I have no outlet. Before I was a parent I was just graduating from college and on my own. I don't regret my child but I regret who I had it with and the time period I did. I would've had her when I was a lot older and more stable. I'm living with my mother with no car, no job and I'm f****** 23. I got postpartum depression after I had my baby and they immediately put me on antidepressants that do nothing. I picture myself just running away in the middle of the night and leaving everything all behind but my child needs a mother. She's almost a year old and time can't go fast enough. I just want her to grow up already. The baby phase has been nothing but h***. She came out a preemie and had bad colic and could barely eat. She didn't sleep and still doesn't now. Her father thinks he has it so f****** hard just working at Walmart for a couple hours and coming home. The difference with us is I don't get a break. I have to do this everyday nonstop with ZERO help. I have emotional break downs constantly and just want to end it all. I feel like a failure and I did my life all wrong. I'm so disappointed in myself and I cry everyday about it. I feel so guilty because when I first found out I was pregnant by my child's father I immediately wanted an abortion or go for adoption because he wasn't responsible at all. I still think about it now and always wonder,"What if?" I love my child and I'm happy she is here but I feel like I'm really drowning. I always wonder did I miss out on my life having my child so early. The rest of my friends are living it up and I'm home being a mom....alone.

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6 Comments

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  • Pick yourself up and start making a life for you and your child. There are tons of resources out there for women in your exact situation. You can get assistance with the cost of child care so you are able to find a job. Force your child's father to support his child. Sitting around crying about how bad your life is solves nothing. Be glad you have somewhere to live and are not in a shelter somewhere. Millions of people are single parents and still make a wonderful life for themselves ,you just have to work hard to obtain it instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself.

  • Thanks

  • I know my post may have sounded harsh but I think sometimes brutal honesty is the best approach. Look for outside assistance, there truly are many programs out there that can help you get a new start . Good luck to you!

  • Attention seeker!

  • If I were seeking attention don't you think I'd go to a site where I wouldn't be anonymous? You f****** troll. Is that your MO going on post just to be a negative little c***? F*** you. If you're a woman I hope you get pregnant and end up just like my "attention seeking" ass. If you're a man I hope you end up getting aids. 🤞🏽🖕🏽

  • F*** off

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