Really?!?

Part of what makes me mad about my boyfriend is that he says he wants something and doesn't really do anything to try and get it. Most recent example he's been gaining weight and says he wants to start eating healthier and going to the gym. So I said we can go today to look at new gyms. And what does he do? Nothing. He sleeps and play video games all day. I'm tired of being the one to do the work for him. He needs to get up and do something

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  • Change is hard. Although sleeping all day sound like depression. Does he work? In order for him to make a change in his life, he needs to find his own motivation. You can support him as you are doing. It's great, some where deep down he appreciates it. You can cook healthy meals together, encourage him to be active and go on walks, hikes or bike ride or whatever seems fun. But at the end of the day, it really has to come from him. And you also want to avoid sounding like his mother. He knows what he needs to do, he's just not doing it. He needs to grow up and be an adult and get his s*** together. If you are always doing things for him, he will never do anything. For now, stop bringing it up to him. You take care of you. If you are over and he wants to stay in, you say you're going out with or without him.

  • He who hath no sin cast the first stone.

    What you describe is human nature. Be very careful about judging others against a perfect standard - there isn't a single person that doesn't in some way not always meet the perfect standard.

    Bottom line, give him a break.

    Otoh, if someone fails in everything and won't help themselves in any way, this is a warning sign that they need - external - help.

  • He's gotten several breaks and we talked about it on many different occasions
    He wants to change and isn't doing anything to change. Then takes his frustration about not changing out on me. I don't care about the weight gain. I care about the fact he steady blames me for his s*** and doesn't take responsibility and when I try to help him he still doesn't want to do anything.

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