Beta male

This site is the only place I can really tell my darkest encounters and secrets. This compulsion to service and have ** with strangers and be used is what I live for yet only the people I encounter know. I have a secret life where I am driven to these places to meet these people and let them use me. Only the people that read this know me. They are just some of many encounters. The common thread is how much it turns me on to let them ** or play or hurt me. Once they touch me I won't say know. They own me. I have done everything I could think of. Every fantasy my partner thinks of I let happen. I can make love to my beautiful wife but the highest moments of ecstasy I have had is with total strangers pleasing them

There are so many, many things that I want to know about you, and about your life, and about your sexuality, that I don't have a clue where to start, so I'll just start. Do you ever cheat on your wife with other women, or is it always only men?

I have been married for 16 years. Like most marriages good and bad. I would say at least half I had relationships with other woman. I dated a beautiful Russian woman for a few years. Just beautiful. I would give her oral for hours. I remember in hot summer days after I would take cool damp clothes and wipe down her whole body afterwards while she would fall asleep. I can still close my eyes and be in the room with her
Another woman was much younger. About 22 or so. We were together over a year. Asian. We were very close. For some reason she was the most intimate sexually. Her just standing by me excited me. I enjoyed her so much. Then a gorgeous Indian women that I still speak with today. My problem is I stay emotionally connected and in some cases still talk daily to them
The ** was different and great with all of them

I always knew I was bi inside but the first encounter wasn't till my late twenties. On business in Israel. It was with a handsome young man. Thin and perfect he came to my hotel. We started to kiss and it became the most passionate ** I ever had. He was so big. And I had him in my mouth and gave oral for the first time. I could barely fit half in my mouth. We had ** all night That was the only night I came three times. Exhausting I can close my eyes and remember and it makes me so hard

All your experiences are warm and filled with true love, and I knew that would be the case: you are a warm and giving man, and you care for and care about everyone you have ** with. For you, it's never "**"; it's always "love". You are wonderful. Thanks for sharing. I will ask more questions later, if that doesn't offend you. :)

I have known four or five males who were bisexual, and I always thought their interest in same-** relationships was purely selfish: it was always all about THEM. Arousing them, pleasing them, satisfying them, making them ** over and over. But your attitude is the exact opposite of theirs. Your sexuality is never about you: it's always about your partner(s). Every time you've ever written about a sexual encounter, whether with a male or female (or more than one of each), you've always focused on the other person, the one you are making love with. I think that is a wonderful thing, and a noble thing, and an admirable thing. How did you come to be that way? Is it something you can explain or describe, or is it simply who/what/how you are? I think you are amazing.

Sunday I went back to the road. Only person there was the man that stays in the car and touches himself and commands me to stand in the road while he touches himself. He had me pull down my pants and take off my shirt. And master----e in the middle of the road till I finished. Then he pulls away. I don't know why I get so turned on being used for other people's fantasies but I can't stop. If my friends and family knew how many people I let use me for their own pleasure they would die..or I would. One thing for sure,I can't stop

This is one of the most delicious things I've ever read. You expose yourself to discovery, and thus to being ridiculed and humiliated by others. And why do you do that? Why do you "get so turned on being used for other people's fantasies"? You do it in order to please others. I, for one, am very glad that you cannot stop. The world needs more of what you give it. More of what you give us. Please don't stop. Please don't ever stop. Please. Please?

Saturday I went to the dirt road and parked . I waited for anyone cruising. After 30 minutes the guy that takes me into the woods pulled up
I never say anything but just get out and walk into the woods and get on my knees. He covered himself with bug repellent but as always did not offer me any. He pulled his pants down and I made him hard. After a few minutes he told me to turn around. At this point someone that was on the road before came up. I started to move but was pushed back down. I then felt the man I sucked work his way inside me. Once in he started pounding me and telling me I was so tight and he would f me good. All the while the other person stood right by my face ,inches away Finally pulling down his pants and slipping it in my mouth. He was so small I fit it all in including his **. He came right away I was so hard and dripping on my elbows. It started raining so hard but it didn't stop me from getting pounded. I was soaked and hit up on the wet leaves getting it. He finally finished pulling me against him all the way in. Pulled up his pants and they both walked away talking about what a ** I was. I lay there on the wet leaves totally f and feeling so satisfied and used. I went home showered. I had bites all over. My back and legs. That man can take me anytime he wants to be pleased. I will never say no.

What you offer all these men is the very essence of our reason for being present in the world: l-o-v-e. You love them all, and that is not only beautiful, it's inspiring. It's inspiring because there is so much love inside you. So much love. And not only do you give unconditional love to these men, you still give love to your wife. You are an amazing individual. And no one is like you. No one loves as much as you do.

As I laid in bed with my wife last night, I began to think of you with that contractor you've written about a few times, and while she slept, I masturbated, fantasizing about how the two of you love each other and how you show it. I got off twice, and she never even knew.

That is so **. When I do my wife I always have to think of one of my encounters right before. First because they do me so good and make me crazy and second because as wild as she thinks she gets me it's not her that makes me **.

I know exactly what you mean. Exactly. There's nothing that our wives can do to us that makes us feel like we feel when a man bends us over and drives his love deeeeep into our **, or holds our head down while he jackhammers his love deeeeep into our throat, or forces us to kneel before him (like in worship) as he sprays our face and body with his hot **......or his hot urine. You are so right: our wives cannot make us **. Why? They don't love us enough. Yes, you are so right. So right.

Somebody needs to start ** you -- on a regular basis -- like the ** you are.

Two days and still so sore

Love it. Really. I just ** love it. Ever since you originally posted, I've been thinking about you standing in front of that ** man, and being pounded, and then turned inside out, as he pushed in and pulled out of your **. God, such love. Such love. Such loving. I'm so happy you can still feel it, even this far beyond the act. Yes, THAT is love.

If your still sore after 2 days then he did you right!

^total agreement^!! A man that can ruin you like that is a man who deserves your love!!

Yesterday after work I stopped at the book store. Nobody was there so I went into the booth and just waited. After a while someone opened the door. I khan met him a while ago. He came in lifted my shirt off. I opened his pants and started stroking him. As I did he would pinch my chest and slap me , getting me more and more crazy. He then rubbed against my chest till he finished. I wiped it all over my stomach and chest and left it to dry
About 5 minutes later a heavy African American came in . I got on my knees and did him for a while. He was very thick and uncircumcised. He then stood me up and turned me around and put it in my. He would do me for 20 to 30 seconds and pull out and repeat over and over for a half hour straight
Sometimes bending me over and sometimes standing me straight. He would slam against me so hard as I begged him to come. I wanted it. When he did he pulled out and finished outside me.
I went home took a shower but did not wash my chest. Went to bed and went down on my wife she came twice then fell asleep with her head resting on my chest as I massaged her to sleep

Oh, my dear sweet darling! The pounding you took from the big African was magnificent! When I read how you took it from him, in varying positions, and how you begged for him to be pleased, and then begged for him to be satisfied, it made me **. And **. And **. And **. And **. And **. And then ** much more. You are such a lover. You are such a man. YOU ARE SUCH A ** MAN.

We've missed your posts here. I hope you're doing okay, and have just been busy getting ** and doing **. Please don't stop. The world is a far better place when you're sexually active. Don't stop. We love you.

Sorry just didn't post . It was a crazy weekend. Friday went to the book store. A good looking Asian guy followed me into the booth. I got on my knees and went down on him for a few minutes. He then sat me on the seat ' pulled down my pants.and sat on my lap while I played with him
I lifted his shirt His body was so thin and tight
I rubbed his stomach and chest and felt every ripple in his stomach He actually reached over and put his mouth over mine. I never let anyone kiss me but he felt and tasted so good I couldn't stop. He kissed me so hard and long while I rubbed him all over. He came all over my hand. I was so hot i wiped it on my chest and di--
Saturday night I took my wife out brought her home and did her so hard. As I talked dirty in her ear she got wetter and wetter. She loves when I whisper that I will share her and we will both put our d in her at once and stretch her. She tenses up and comes. This time I came thinking of that tight body sitting on my lap Friday
Sunday I snuck out to the dirt road and met the contractor. He used my mouth in his truck. I love grabbing on to his strong calve muscles while he comes . I kept him in my mouth till he couldn't take it. I loved how he just said buy now and slid open the door and more or less pushed me out like he was done with me.

The ** you have is not only the hottest, it's also the most beautiful. I'm so glad you met that hot Asian guy, and that the ** you had was soooooo intimate and loving. Christ, the way you described him kissing you while you felt all over his skin and ** and made him ** for you: that wasn't just **, it was love. I hope you meet up with him again, because I feel like that could be a serious LTR for you, perhaps even more so than the contractor; although I must tell you that the contractor certainly seems to understand your heart and your spirit, and he gives you the abuses you crave. I also hope you go back to the book store this week and that you take on large numbers of lovers: you always ALWAYS seem happier and sexier when you've taken on multiple ** AND MULTIPLE LOADS. You are also more satisfied when you've been surrounded by big hot dripping spraying **. But mostly I love it when you go home to your wife, with those loads still in you, on you and leaking from you. I hope you understand how much and how deeply all of us are living vicariously through you: you are our hero. When you are happy and loved, so are we.

But I must ask: of all the places you go to find the love you get, which is your favorite? Book store? Woods? Contractor truck? Or some other place you haven't share with us yet?

I don't have a favorite place just favorite experiences. I love to close my eyes and think back. I have done so many things with men and women but one thing for sure. The more they enjoy me the more memories I have.

That's a perfect description of who you are and how you live. Others might say you were searching for . . . something . . . for yourself. But it's been clear to me from the very beginning of your writing here that you are ALWAYS involved in the search to bring joy and happiness and pleasure and love to other men. And it's equally clear that you accomplish that so beautifully and wonderfully well. All your men are lucky to have you. I wish I was one of them. (And in my more selfish moments, I must admit, I wish I was the ONLY one.)

I only have time to write my current hook ups but I have been living this sexual life for years. For instance I used to go to a beautiful Asian domme that would tease me for hours. One time for six hours straight. She also opened up to me and told me stories about her that she never told anyone
She told me when she was 10. Someone broke into her house with a gun tied her and her brother up and robbed the house. Left them ** till her dad came home 10 hours later I always wondered if that helped shape her career

That's a great thought, and I am sure you're right: the feeling of helplessness and total lack of control, and now she brings that to others in the form of dominant love and the demand for utter submission. You were lucky to have found her and to have had her share her life with you. Mazel tov!

I want to eff you. Right now. I want to eff you sooooooo effing hard. **! Everything you do and write just makes me want to eff you. And do you know what? I think you need to be effed.

Yesterday I went to the dirt road and parked my car. I do give for long runs here btw if nobody is around
A few minutes after I parked a man drove by in his car and pulled in front of me. I got out and walked to the passenger seat. He unlocked the door and I got in. He asked me what I liked and I told him to please. He said great and opened his pants and his shirt. His chest was covered with beautiful black and grey hair
I took him in my mouth and played with him Gently sucking. I played with and pulled his chest hair over and over. It felt so good and got my so turned on. After a few minutes he pushed my head down hard and started commanding me to ** deep. He then started thrusting so hard and telling me he loved fu----g my mouth. He then finished so deep. I could feel it shoot in mouth while he pulsated. I then lightly sucked for another minute to make sure he was totally finished
I got out and did not say a word.

Christ, all the things you do are **. Every single thing, just ** as all **. Jesus!

I would love to ** you in front of all those other men. I would ruin you.

To get bent over and taken in front of me hem is incredible. I listen to their comments while I get rammed. They don't talk to me just about me. They will say it's hot or f him good or look she loves it. Sometimes they rub me or will slap my cheek
Last week the man made me kneel outside the booth again and charged people a token each to come in my mouth. I was so used one after another. 5 times I went strait home and collapsed on my bed didn't even shower
Then my wife kissed me goodnight

The abuses you receive in the name of love are a thing of beauty, and the love you give in return is perfect and pure. I doubt that many of the men you encounter really understand how wonderful you are, or how lucky they are to have you servicing them, giving them release, and giving them your love. I know you are a sensual individual (as well as a sexual one), but you are also an intellectual and artful one. Your writing is astonishingly good. I stop by this page multiple times each day, hoping to find a new post from you, and a new thought or occurrence or image from your love life. But whether or not something new appears, I ** each and every time. I think of you and fantasize about the lover you must be, and then I think of how hard I would work to make you happy, and what a blessing it would be to have you in my life. I would honor your marriage (perhaps even befriending your wife, but without telling her of our passion for each other or the filthy ways we express it), I would go to the bookstore, the peepshow, the gay bars, the truck stops, the parks and the woods with you, and we would always be searching for new ways in which you can share your love. And every time I think of all that, I erupt -- volcanically -- as if I were in your **. And then, when I think of you inside mine, I erupt again. I truly love you. And I thank you for sharing yourself with us here. Please don't stop pleasing men, and please don't stop writing about it. Yes, I love you, but I also need you.

You writing this gets me so hard. I wish you could. F me so hard and hurt me so I will feel the pain for days and remember how good you took me and finished inside me like I'm your ** and nothing more

Yes, I'm so glad you understand your place and are eager to remain in it. I would ** you hard, like a madman, like a fiend, like a ** killer. I would wreck your ** and ruin you for other men. Certainly, other men would HAVE you, but you would be owned by me. Yes. A **. And owned **. That is what you would be. It's what you would remain. I would take you places on a leash, and you would do as you are instructed, with as many men as would have you. But then there would also be nights where we stayed in at my place, when I would ** you over and over and over and over, until you cried for me to stop, but I would not stop. Once you begged, I would ** you over and over and over and over again, and then still more, filling you with my **. I would ** you more after that, harder and deeper and faster and filthier, until you were unable to walk, and until you wept from the pain. Then, I would load you into my car and take you home to your wife, carry you into your house, and place you in her bed . . . without explaining who I am or how I came to bring you home. All I would say is, "I own that".

Good. Make me cry. That's so hot. Make me your slave and ruin me. Hurt me. Don't tell my wife. Make me go home and be with her and dream and know inside I am owned by you. Make me go sleep next to her with your come still inside me.
Make me scrub your floors on my knees then take me like a little ** then send me home. Please
I am so strong. I have a great athletic body but I will be your little ** There to just please you

You have a sweet and wonderful attitude. Please don't ever change. I will make you cry, I will pound you furiously, and I will lend you to some of the most depraved homos you have ever encountered. The ** you will take will be brutal, and you will cry, but you will love them all. And then you will love me, when I ** you better. You **. You miserable ** **! You have never known, and will never know, happiness like this.

You are just too ** hot for words. There are a lot of good words here, but not enough to describe how hot and ** and wonderful you are.

I love it when you let yourself get **. And I love you, too, when you let yourself get **. That is just so beautiful.

** me...

You know I will. You KNOW that.

OMMFG, I want your ** in me.